tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55783024577679219032024-03-18T20:05:25.009-07:00in transitydf DRAWING. ANIMATION. MAGIC.bhgdfyhbjhfkdfyghin transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-1907823265355472272019-10-19T10:06:00.000-07:002019-10-19T10:06:06.921-07:00Grey rain, Silence, and the angel and the buddha<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="text-align: left;"> (A few have passed and these are images from more recent that resonate in my heart.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The rain has been falling in small buckets, somehow I missed it on my walk to and from the little wooden home I share with 6 other people at the moment. Some invisible umbrella protecting me. I managed to practice a new song with Sidd and Omraj and appreciate Myron's bright smile and sweet laugh during a chance encounter. He brought some California light.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're about to start a silent retreat at Zmar, in Portugal. I have been serving on the team that puts these on since the summer of 2015 when I first came here after India. Which means I have participated in about 7 or 8. They all have a different depth to them, a clarity, a cleansing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's very different to serve the 800 people that come here as opposed to being amongst them, yet just as powerful. I find in some strange way I guess I have more to reflect on in my active experience, where I am still holding onto something in myself that creates a button to be pressed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love the rain, during my shower minutes ago I left the window open and watched it pouring outside and was reminded of the days of youth of playing in the rain mud wrestling and mud sliding. Nothing like wet, messy , muddy, innocent joy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the living room where I sit now, there is one woman with a gentle and open energy travelling for her first time to a retreat like this. She told me she has gotten rid of her business and her house and she's on the open road, headed to South Africa after.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life really gives us different streams, times where my mind longs for something stable, and also longs for no structure and no plan, an open slate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my first years here I remember Mooji saying "never think you know what a day will bring, everything is fresh."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even if my life has structure it is quite unknown. Something I do love about speaking with David, owner of the teahouse I have such a bond to, if you move too quickly to speak about future he can remind you that he may not even be alive after he walks out the door in 5 minutes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Talk about appreciation of the present.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The rain feels like an old friend, a sweet music, tap tap tap, a great symphony, and she is well needed to this earth here in portugal. Oh rain , please make sweet love to the earth for many days to come. Thank you, Amen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stopped writing for a long time, my focus became very inward and I wasn't sure what I was writing or reporting about anyways, or for who . But today I spoke to Taryn, an old dear friend, who reflects something in me and reminded me of what I love about it. I do it for me, because it makes me happy, because it is an expression, a release, writing invisible words and images, painting them onto this invisible canvas of existence. In our new song we sing about Maya, which often Mooji speaks about, to be very frank this is the definition: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">the power by which the universe becomes manifest; the illusion or appearance of the phenomenal world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Often we speak about it in satsang as the great play, illusion or dance. The world that we take to be so real, and yet is often just interpretation of experience. "You are the center of your experiencing, you are the heart of your world."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't help but quote my teacher Mooji as my life as of current is in constant satsang with him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It feels like a very special time, and I also recognise its impermanence. Everything I have ever loved so deeply has come and go. Even Taryn said today you have so many different styles of writing and they come and they go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can make things so much bigger in our head then they actually are, just be with what is, the power of observation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One line in the song we are working on goes ; "Faith, guide my way..."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok very simple and nothing too overly profound, but I found I really had to practice the actual tempo of this line on the beat because I kept messing it up. And I felt maybe something for me to take in, doubt is so sneaky and sometimes tries to tempt . </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"is this really your best life? is there something missing?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">thoughts i can think about and yet when i am in the joy of the present with what life is offering me, surrounded by such total beauty and love, what could be missing?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nothing is missing , something whispers, it's just another idea, or concept. I have some friends who love this quote;</span></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">"My heart is at ease </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">knowing</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> that what is </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">meant for me will never</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> miss me, and that which misses me was never </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">meant for me</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">." - Imam al-Shafi'i.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just another idea? One that sets the heart free.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This last one of us is very goofy. but something i like about it. and is life tricky? Mind is tricky, thoughts can be tricky, life can actually be so so simple, and thats what these silent retreats with Mooji are often getting at, that we try so hard very often to work on a projected self image of ourselves, or to attain that which is already here. "Where was peace until you found it?" and yet the paradox that he reminds is that often there is effort that is required to recognise the effortless - in the beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and what is the beginning and what is the end? everyday we have small deaths.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we enter the silence tonight, may i respect it, may i respect the richness of life with less words, more insight.</span></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-22348047941792215042016-06-04T07:47:00.000-07:002016-06-04T07:53:22.486-07:00Coffee, a portuguese breeze, and love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I sit surrounded by the presence of the Buddha.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Its everywhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Writing to myself, the same self as the one who reads these words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How magical, that there is no real separation .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bamboo pieces hang and gently sway in the wind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last night I sat outside of my tent just watching the colors in the night sky change. A beautiful glow on the horizon and one star imbetween the light of dusk and the blanket of night creeping over it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It seemed as if this star was standing still and ascending at the same time. I saw myself in this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My heart totally still and always here and yet also something within me ascending.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mooji said the other day in satsang, "Walk blind and really see."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I feel we are all doing this, everyday, every moment, but that faith and trust, it enables this seeing to be pure. Empty seeing, without expectation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I feel a deep gratitude to all, and especially many beings who are walking in truth, and love and faith.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How they shine .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the sauna I sang and sang some prayers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Agua de luz, calme mi familia, sauna mi familia, limpia mi familia.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some death and sickness is passing through, a wave in the cycle of existence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">May my family- and all families, be supported, to look for this inner light, to know the boundless love that carries them. And in their grieving find solace and be reborn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A little dog came and stayed with us one night in our tent.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He showed up right after my Grandpa left his body.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This dog was full of playfullness, love, curiosity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He was gone the next day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some beings come this way, to give you a message of love, and that's what they are sent for, no attachment, just a momentary glimpse or blessing of grace.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We take time to sit and be in silence, to meditate or contemplate here at the ashram.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This song in my ears sings "Blessed are those who see and are silent."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Silence, such a power.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mooji says that by taking these moments to contemplate- "to sit in the cave of your own self"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">that you are actually taking this time to recognise your timelessness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your eternal self.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What more to say. Sometimes words flow like rivers, and then there's that which flows beyond words.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Its a language of light, of seeing, a language beyond language.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The best way to share this must be through presence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Giving thanks each day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Openness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Grace.</span></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-8713593915050259822014-12-29T00:17:00.000-08:002014-12-29T00:17:53.222-08:00Moon light<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the moon burns quickly, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the candle grows quietly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my hair falls slowly, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and memories fade brightly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's December 28th. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The end of the month. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What a month it was, a brief pause in time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you cannot contain time, nor stop it. I've tried before, to lasso the moon, to freeze the frame of my existence. But the mind doesn't not work like a remote control.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the closest thing you can do to freeze time is to be in the moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because then time doesn't exist at all really.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been listening to a teacher I am going to see in India in February. What he teaches is simple, and he makes me laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My dad, who seems to be weary of his heart condition and has trouble sleeping, finally fell into a peaceful sleep while listening to him. That's a good teacher to me . ;).But he also does seem to take to him, which is nice. It's nice to share something with your family and have them relate or connect to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The computer just froze, it allowed me to pause and take a breathe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's nice to stop. movement and stillness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A candle in the dark.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I drove on the 17 freeway today, a little windy road freeway going to Santa Cruz in the mountains. I listened to Crosby Stills, Nash and Young. Had "Helplessly hoping " on repeat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's so good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Timeless gems.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sun came through the trees and I smiled at the rainbow reflections.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On my break at the teahouse I ran into two friends. One a boy named Kyle from a silkscreening class,and another a dear friend named Kate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her mow-hawk had changed from blue to black and was very soft to the touch. Like a little foxes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was so nice to see Kyle, he showed me his art, he is such a good artist and is only 21. I think him and I always gravitated to each others art in the class. Seemed to get it, meditative, simple.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They walked with me to get my thai coconut soup.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Talking about sweet nothing and it just made me feel loved to run into them seperetely together in that alley and then walk. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The night crisp and people about.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Downtown gets like that sometimes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm getting sleepy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christmas was a nice blur, seeing family, no drama, simplicity, sharing, hugging my lil sis.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tom talking about truth with my cousin and somehow us forming a little circle on the ground of the game room where pool was played.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The mystery reveals itself moment to moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been working pretty hard the past few days, but I see people do it all the time, its nice to be humbled by it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a nice Rumi poem that I can only remember two lines of but they went something like this;</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is the body?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Endurance.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is love?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gratitude.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(ok i looked up the rest of it because it's good...)</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is in the heart?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Laughter?</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What else?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Compassion.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But i really liked that one line- "what is the body?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Endurance". It's just like, yeah..that is what it is. I mean living is to endure, or no rather, to be in a body. These bodies go through a lot, they endure the wear and tear of the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our spirit, or consciousness is something different, the heart does endure a lot, but i do think the heart is or can be unchanged. That is what this teacher teaches, our true nature, the self , which is never affected or changed, or spoiled by the outside external world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thats one nice thing about children, they seem to be so unaware of them selves at times . And themselves more as an identity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least many I have met.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had a second cousin that kept coming into the room where Tom was on Christmas. Tom wasn't feeling so great so he sat watching a movie while people mingled outside. The little boy would come in and say "hi Tom" over and over with a big smile. Then it was time for him to leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He asked my name again and then said "Bye Tom, can I give you a hug?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course Tom said yes, and he just hugged him for a second. There was something just so simple and straightforward about it. A fearlessness and a purity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's almost midnight, and the moon is about half full. I think I will drift into sleep now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The new year is coming. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here we are.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't have many pictures at the moment. Pictures just haven't been a focus..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But that's ok, here's a few...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-XmjGtI6pBBXhllnx0RC8Cg53h8DSuZbYMUr-h1rUIVyo39j1AqszbL6urGdRssf4VIsI3fv7LRz3EN_goMqeAvFeCykdhFFNUXXC8phUVpo4tdU-gPfBy_DHnJJFAJtOJpDmgmG1uv8/s1600/10885565_10101276906036978_2497942291976970561_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-XmjGtI6pBBXhllnx0RC8Cg53h8DSuZbYMUr-h1rUIVyo39j1AqszbL6urGdRssf4VIsI3fv7LRz3EN_goMqeAvFeCykdhFFNUXXC8phUVpo4tdU-gPfBy_DHnJJFAJtOJpDmgmG1uv8/s1600/10885565_10101276906036978_2497942291976970561_n.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixydntY0Te1V8z_9E_o9czLcQon9Lfr2c84KTtEvAN_AI0eu7fF-mhiqYSot_BCWnNfQfVuc3ZeLw4cFSOD_w6X0i4PkF0B2NN4krW0DA47TQZ_rVGRSA7eexkq1N3d1J2v3DklMq1T-TS/s1600/cards.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixydntY0Te1V8z_9E_o9czLcQon9Lfr2c84KTtEvAN_AI0eu7fF-mhiqYSot_BCWnNfQfVuc3ZeLw4cFSOD_w6X0i4PkF0B2NN4krW0DA47TQZ_rVGRSA7eexkq1N3d1J2v3DklMq1T-TS/s1600/cards.png" height="626" width="640" /></a></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-20206036052326352872014-11-24T13:36:00.001-08:002014-11-24T13:36:59.922-08:00Bhakti Love -- Nov 24th<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiboigan84b25fZ5d4LPhhqlGibfOgCKpbfrRWe7MA5Ytp3DFNMVI0RDj2WhPMdtSFtAWzSLVbN589t4pOczdU3qkChJhnW4P46GfeT7W3hf4o3ZGxsPtdV8ad0FRQFHouoSRfG1za2A56C/s1600/Bhakti-babe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiboigan84b25fZ5d4LPhhqlGibfOgCKpbfrRWe7MA5Ytp3DFNMVI0RDj2WhPMdtSFtAWzSLVbN589t4pOczdU3qkChJhnW4P46GfeT7W3hf4o3ZGxsPtdV8ad0FRQFHouoSRfG1za2A56C/s1600/Bhakti-babe.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's one of those days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">being alive, breathing air, feeling gratitude.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the sun is shinning and its cooler, California winter weather where a light jacket is needed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just finished acupuncture. Which was pretty heavenly, there's something about being at ease with needles sticking into you that I just love. That beautiful paradox.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The 5 Branches studio room where I had my visit had a little picture on the ceiling of a boat sailing through mountains in some distant land. It felt Asian or European, but so peaceful. To look up imagining yourself floating along into nowhere while sweet Indian and Gamelan music comes in and out. So nice.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifFmdYLqM2sffnYtJ1iNNYXCfE17kXTYS1MlY_L5KKNZ2cc37OuR8vFHCiTjYt8acxUcuSRibMp33Jdi7fnzHeVRnX3zEyYr-7kjXN2LGAYTHGqNluhG9QYzN2XMayDC2Ar9tU_u7-P-xa/s1600/open.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifFmdYLqM2sffnYtJ1iNNYXCfE17kXTYS1MlY_L5KKNZ2cc37OuR8vFHCiTjYt8acxUcuSRibMp33Jdi7fnzHeVRnX3zEyYr-7kjXN2LGAYTHGqNluhG9QYzN2XMayDC2Ar9tU_u7-P-xa/s1600/open.png" height="420" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the 24th of November. The New Moon in Sagittarius just came.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't live in an only astrological world, but it's fun to play with the stars. Sagittarius is a happy sign, maybe I think so because I am one. But I feel a brightness, a visionary time.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjncCaMgDL6EPGTob5viZsVS08epuAfSvCWnrv7KvOes_S-pGSisr87yi_9gzVuA6KGgJ0qDIwzLrajqq7o6IA_Sdeqq3cWvRfgJXyhXUA1-R2uUnNZEdfFwdX_wErozzJr7ppte74ih70/s1600/sag.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjncCaMgDL6EPGTob5viZsVS08epuAfSvCWnrv7KvOes_S-pGSisr87yi_9gzVuA6KGgJ0qDIwzLrajqq7o6IA_Sdeqq3cWvRfgJXyhXUA1-R2uUnNZEdfFwdX_wErozzJr7ppte74ih70/s1600/sag.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been watching lots of Mooji with Tom and I just love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Such a sweet beautiful man pointing to truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's one line I love that he says which is "whatever you're perceiving your conceiving."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been really nice to identify less with the mind and leave more space for emptiness and peace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm drinking a Chickory root tea in one of my favorite places in Santa Cruz. A man is calling out orders, and the boy behind the counter is beyond happy. I love seeing people who just can't contain their joy while doing such simple ordinary things like serving food.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Winter is here and things seem to be standing still and moving along swiftly at the same time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I opened the teahouse journal the other day and someone had written simply at the top of an empty page</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Movement is the birth of stillness."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mmmmm, I'm finishing up a project that I have been working on with my dear friend Manish. It's a short documentary of Ayurveda and has been really sweet to shoot with him. He just loves what he's doing. I think if you have the opportunity to work with those who put love and service in the center of what they are doing it can be a very magical experience. Lots of laughter anyways.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went to my twin brother's house yesterday. He has so many sweet friends and it was so nice to see them. Like finding old trinkets you forgot about, each with a different magic and beauty to them. Seeing an old friend when you least expect it, it's nice when the universe brings familiar souls back to you. Like putting on warm socks from the laundry.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9k38WcpXOVmp_JpIZY30D23lNqEZDOw-bChq5i8GPFoN24sVYoHUtqCsTecSNJXSrjbR3ev3xe4TUgZEopXn9tKkw6t2eGOjcywfKofLKUeva3pbYUACyuUY793n5y_xYl0-Mpvim9_yO/s1600/max-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9k38WcpXOVmp_JpIZY30D23lNqEZDOw-bChq5i8GPFoN24sVYoHUtqCsTecSNJXSrjbR3ev3xe4TUgZEopXn9tKkw6t2eGOjcywfKofLKUeva3pbYUACyuUY793n5y_xYl0-Mpvim9_yO/s1600/max-me.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This post will be short. There's not a whole lot to say. Just feeling a space of gratitude for the unfolding mystery.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some friends from NY will be here this weekend, I hope I get to see them. Not sure if I will sit in ceremony. Not feeling the strongest pull towards medicine. But only God knows.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Insha'Allah.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:)</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-69956802289565303382014-11-04T23:33:00.000-08:002014-11-04T23:33:45.196-08:00off to space in November<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">here we go.....</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPYqjrb1l7mmoTxma_kZGbwMbEpUG-TD5noq6p3LFHBC51-Tcg08HA2M9hs7N_egayHLAx9ltiRUH9UaZLj7Tzwz-LbK5Xsy2Brf22gjkv7U3zU0XM2Nkdd57HYjZyoAv9BUSYAoxHB2fb/s1600/_MG_6786.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPYqjrb1l7mmoTxma_kZGbwMbEpUG-TD5noq6p3LFHBC51-Tcg08HA2M9hs7N_egayHLAx9ltiRUH9UaZLj7Tzwz-LbK5Xsy2Brf22gjkv7U3zU0XM2Nkdd57HYjZyoAv9BUSYAoxHB2fb/s1600/_MG_6786.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-JAwSsXSY1LFn8qc0QWOmnJVC4AUeE0VnUZew9PDLZoMBd8VzT4zgJ-vxtrPmpNhZeqzPbPxswamH254FXAfrBDZm3XqlMR9OSSJcjJn33FtYsGo3TuVC1u9GgklAPkL_kah-gbz3tObY/s1600/_MG_6776.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-JAwSsXSY1LFn8qc0QWOmnJVC4AUeE0VnUZew9PDLZoMBd8VzT4zgJ-vxtrPmpNhZeqzPbPxswamH254FXAfrBDZm3XqlMR9OSSJcjJn33FtYsGo3TuVC1u9GgklAPkL_kah-gbz3tObY/s1600/_MG_6776.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's Novemeber.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm learning how to love every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to breathe, to let go, to laugh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yo La Tengo is playing in my ears.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A little over a year ago I fell in love again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" I remember before we met.."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That line in this song "We're on our way to fall..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're always falling, falling back into this moment. Some days are hard, some days we aren't seeing or experiencing the same thing. Fear may creep in, but then when we come back to the moment, when love is what we chose to experience. We fall, fall again, in and through. It's sort of like swimming.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes you choke on the water, or your vision is blurry. But we keep swimming.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know how my life will end. David from the teahouse always says when you ask him about the future.."I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, if I'll be alive in 5 minutes when I leave here.."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thats the truth. we don't know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"ya we're on our way</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.. to fall in love.."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But we can fall in love if we chose.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently a friend passed away. I didn't know her very well but she left a very big mark on my heart. The day I found out we went and prayed at the land of the medicine buddha and played the flute. I asked Tom if I was crazy, if it was silly that I was crying so much. I felt like her death broke something open in me. He said of course not, she is your sister, your spirit kin. She's a part of your family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We went to her memorial in Portland and it was so beautiful. So incredible to see the people gather together and sing songs for her and speak of her. Her partner Elijah is something else. The way he held space for everyone, healed everyone with his love and acceptance and strength. It was like majesty, I felt this christ like compassion and universal love emanating from him. It was really powerful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(OneDoorLand )</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Three little kittens slept with us at the magical community we stayed at called OneDoorland.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> One kitten nusseled into Tom's armpit, licked the hair in there and then went to bit his nipple. It was so cute and so sweet to see this innocent little thing try to get milk out of him and then cuddle back into his armpit. I felt like I had just experienced ceremony. And her memorial sort of was a ceremony, song and prayer and tears. We listened to audio from Richard Rudd on Simplicity and Forgiveness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ahhhh, forgiveness and ahhh simplicity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh how we can overcomplicate and chose to not accept ourselves or others. That is the opposite of forgiveness, When we are unable to accept ourselves or the world around us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Forgiveness is powerful, "It is the divine spark" Richard says.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This community really inspired me. I was there so briefly but there was such an intentionality there that emanated from what was created. Binah's vision and home was incredible. I remember when she had first told Tom and I about it and about how they had artists in residence. I didn't realize what magic was there. It was a gift to share that small pocket of time. The hearts that were so willing to share and open. And then laughter. It's so nice when you can be in a group and cry and laugh and heal. Richard has a key that says, "every intentional act is a magical act." I would love to be in such a focused artistic community. Magic intentions abound.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then there's the now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am grateful for the now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We drove back through space, through Mt. Shasta. And arrived at Panther Meadows at 11:00 pm. It was cold, there was ice on the ground. I peed in a patch of white snow and saw the most magical and giant shooting star I had ever seen. The night winked at me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We walked around and the energy was so crisp. So alive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We decided not to camp in the ice and snow. As to avoid freezing over and went and camped at castle lake. Tom and I huddled together for warmth and I'd wake and cover his face with my scarf.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't dream, I just slept - slept hard.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we woke we walked around castle lake. Tom was our guide, like Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings. He took Steve and I a little further, and further and further.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He was determined to find the meadow where he had had the vision of him and I a year ago. He saw us returning every year and eventually returning with our kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We found it, it was iced over and we stood over the valley and looked over it all. I was happy to be there with him. A year and a half ago when he had come on his retreat there I had been in Central America. I was healing and learning and he was doing his own work here. And then life brought us back together where Tom would teach me how to love unconditionally. Over and over.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you can forgive anything, then you are free.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A year ago and then today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tom pointed to two trees today. He asked me what they embodied. We had been having a rough morning, just miscommunication and mis-understanding. I said being, air, peace, comfort. He said that is our relationship, those our the qualities we do or have the potential to embody too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first day we met we omed around a tree and the 5th we meditated under two trees together.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've always felt trees symbols of peace and understanding. They give and ask for nothing in return.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today is the fourth of November, I am 26. I don't know what it is that I will do in my lifetime, or how long I will live to. I know that yesterday a 5 month old looked in my eyes and smiled and smiled until I almost cried of joy, and today a friend had lavender purple hair. I know that my feet like the feeling of grass and my ears enjoy the sound of the flute.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I have been working at one of my favorite places on earth and it has been a challenge and gift.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that everything is changing and that I have 10 fingers and 10 toes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that I can chose what to paint. There are maybe 25 people in this cafe with me, They all have their own worries and fears, and joys and blisses. They are not separate from me. I think thats the big reminder in love, we are not separate. Give others the freedom, space, and understanding you would want.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here we are, all travelling through space. In the beginning of November.</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-32982442080283964762014-08-20T23:34:00.000-07:002014-08-20T23:34:07.966-07:00Inspiration...coming and going (an new/old post)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Midnight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The bats are out, the crickets singing, and I just finished some chocolate and a late night jacuzzi sesh. I love our jacuzzi, even if it irritates my poison oak. A trade off for living in nature is getting poison oak once a month.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tonight we went with some friends and saw Boyhood. I feel like i am inspired to write each time I see a really beautiful film. I felt high afterwards- like Woo, I am alive, in this crazy wild dream! I am in love, and its not perfect but its magic and it is fun. And that is what this film was about, the reality of life with all its mundane beauty and sadness and growth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Every day is a new set of challenges and adventures" my friend Kirk said this to me the other week. We sat with him on the ground while he taught me how to make this really intricate dreamcatcher. My dreams are dark sometimes, and sometimes they are very telling. I dream of travelling with Tom, of being afraid of not being able to move forward in a car, of exploring and of flying. Fears and visions, the dream world is a wild place. I've been animating a girl connecting with her heart, and of myself flying in a dream. I'm wrapping up an animation project and it feels good to be nearing its completion. Who knows what is in store creatively next, but I'm planting seeds for beauty and growth and depth. I'd like to move to a new level with my work. In whatever way that means, I'm not yet sure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">flying, soaring, dancing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're always dancing with someone or something.</span><br />
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Today it's Wednesday .<br />
We spent the day downtown, drinking tea, feeling, laughing and laughing, walking with friends, eating crepes, and then going into work for this incredibly relaxed and beautiful shift. The teahouse is a strange and magical place. It's a vortex of good people and good tea.<br />
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Tom and I just finished some late night snacks and a late night talk with this amazing ceramicist named Tom. He is sleeping under the stars tonight with out roomies in our front yard. We live in the woods where you can see the stars so clearly, its pretty ideal for camping at home.<br />
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May all beings be happy.<br />
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My tummy is full, I'm grateful, laughter is the best medicine. It heals the soul, of all splits, and fears and conflicts. Beware of the mind and its tricks, don't listen or believe the doubt and fear it will create. Thats been so helpful lately, to laugh and not believe the thought.<br />
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There is magic in the air.<br />
here are some photos.<br />
:)<br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-82193462035446996142014-07-27T15:10:00.000-07:002014-07-28T11:08:49.421-07:00renewal - refinding things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBop7USbYwOF4aHib4YES3qizw-UYZYnaqPSRGW86s9qll5zG2ibssRUMU8_2B8Yrwo3zZCu7s3HVt9e9d15T8ozuZg8tUoTAVFMVh4X_h7WPbHgqC7nHTvxnOzCwETHf4tRFQ5ZHUIa16/s1600/beauty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBop7USbYwOF4aHib4YES3qizw-UYZYnaqPSRGW86s9qll5zG2ibssRUMU8_2B8Yrwo3zZCu7s3HVt9e9d15T8ozuZg8tUoTAVFMVh4X_h7WPbHgqC7nHTvxnOzCwETHf4tRFQ5ZHUIa16/s1600/beauty.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>(photo found online)</i></span>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's almost one am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am 26 years old, Tom is sitting next to me listening to a song he just composed with his hand on my tummy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We
just returned back from a movie, I treated us with the money my Aunt
had sent me in the mail. It was like being 6 and receiving birthday
mail. it made my day and she sent it with a stone that said Magic on it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The movie was all about life and death. About pain and sadness, beauty and gratitude.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The other day I was
online and I saw an old friend from high school post a picture of
himself with his last treatment of Chemo from 6 months of therapy. This
film was about kids who had suffered from cancer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lately
I have been feeling this parallel and this incredible sense of
impermanence. Death is not around me and yet my aliveness reminds me
that one day I will no longer live. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tom sang a song to me while
sitting on a cushion about two lovers meeting in a field, he leaves her
where she laid and I asked him what it was about . He told me "Love,
loss, and hope."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked him why loss? (Why loss my heart cries?) I knew the answer but he replied, "because we lose everything one day."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My eyes began to water and I remember feeling this deep sadness and understanding. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
will look at Tom sometimes and see how precious our life is, his being
alive is, our loving each other in this moment and I'll find myself
weeping. It sounds silly and it is, silly, real , beautiful and heart
opening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The movie reminded me of that,
again and again, over and over I remember to give thanks, to cherish
what I have, to really focus on how blessed I am. Not to get caught in
dominance, or power or lack or the stories that corrupt the beauty of
the moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> It's a continual flowering to remember what a blessing our
lives are. How special the people are in it, and how lucky we truly
are..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are so many angels continually blessing us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I found a page in a journal that simply said;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"the universe loves grateful people</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">release judgements about yourself" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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I wrote the above about a week ago, I'm in LA now, the breeze is coming in the door, water is boiling on the stove , and I am waiting for two dear friends to arrive and take me to a show in LA.</div>
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Life is continually surprising me with its beauty. With love, with strangers and old friends.</div>
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Yesterday I saw my ex-boyfriend Ben. I had been carrying this book with me from Central America for over half a year. He had so generously supported my kickstarter project and in exchange I wanted to give him a small token of gratitude. I was surprised at how incredible it felt to see him, to just laugh and laugh and laugh. It felt like a good surreal dream.</div>
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This was the first time I have ever re-connected with any past love that I have been intimately close with and in a context where I am in a closed relationship and there is no agenda but to just be open. I just felt love, the sort of love I feel when I see my best friend Amy. In this moment there was no possession, no hurt, no strangeness, just joy and relief in a way.</div>
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There is something to say about facing your fears, and trusting your heart, and practicing or being unconditional love.</div>
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Tom blessed my going to see Ben, he had no insecurities or cares, that I could tell. I have always been given freedom from Tom, where it really counts, and that is a blessing. And freedom really belongs to all of us, freedom and boundaries. It's this strange and beautiful balance that only our hearts can define for us. Tom told me before I left "go get smoothies, go to the pier, get on the carousel! :)." He was joking but at the same time totally serious. It's all just love.</div>
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Love is like energy- it doesn't really break, it only changes form. </div>
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My grandpa is sick, he is old, I love him. He squeezes my hand and holds it firmly , he nods and today when I looked over and asked, "what do you think I should do Poopah?" He smiled and closed his eyes tightly, what I saw him say without words is Trust, what the heart knows cannot be seen through the eyes, and what will happen is an unfolding mystery you can only live.</div>
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I hiked with my Aunt today, we were in the Santa Monica mountains and found some native America structures. A board asked that we connect with the purity of Boney Mountain, and that it was a place for vision quests and the shaman's journey. </div>
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I prayed and let nature speak to me, the dancing butterflies, the happy dogs with owners and the crows who left me a feather to play with in my fingers.</div>
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Amy has come and gone again, a soul sister who always comes to me when I really feel I could use a sister. Life is that way, it gives us all sort of medicine, herbal, humans, animals and magic. My medicine this time was Amy. Amy teaches me play, silliness and fun, over and over again. She teaches me about the spirit of no rules. I see why all these mirrors are so important for me.</div>
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My Grandpa is teaching me about the importance of life ! To be alive! What a dance, a brief magical dance.</div>
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Go for it, breathe, and know its all happening perfectly.</div>
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Even when things break, its all transformation for the highest good.</div>
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Crow medicine is about life's mysteries and magic, the sign of luck, the key words are destiny, personal transformation and alchemy.</div>
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:) Yes please. more crow magic.</div>
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I set an intention for light hearted sweetness, thats what i got, my intention tonight it blissful happiness, and surprise.</div>
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I am so grateful for life's blessings.</div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-38482792474975959652014-04-01T16:02:00.000-07:002014-04-01T16:02:21.994-07:00Space, Grace, and Tea<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"let it come."<br />
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a girl said this out loud to us at a group during a baby blessing two Sundays ago.<br />
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a sweet soul named Lila was on her 120th day of pregnancy. I had met Lila once before and had felt extremely connected to her. She had this beauty and softness to her that immediately drew me in.<br />
She found me through my drawings online, she didn't even know we had met before but I recognized her immediately. After we re-connected she invited me to share this day.<br />
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It was at their home called the Garden House. A group of women sat in a group singing, sharing stories, gifts, offerings to her to bless her baby.<br />
She shared tears of joy and of remembrance, her honesty, vulnerability and deep feeling was so beautiful.<br />
<br />
It's 3:13 pm. Soon I leave to go cover a friends shift at this place called India Joze.<br />
It's a very simple job and I like the humbling aspect of it. Some days there I find myself challenged and ask what I'm doing with my path and other days I see the perfect order in all actions and the small steps on the path.<br />
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This morning was filled with a "Golden Buddha" tea, reading about prosperity, sunlight, cuddling and butterflies flying about signifying spring.<br />
<br />
The camino is on my mind since Tom began talking about it. I remember in Barcelona my friend Ivan used to talk about the camino , that was nearly 5 years ago, he wanted to go with his partner at the time. That was a rocky time for our friendship. Boundaries overstepped, fire and fire creating more chaos. It was a part of my path though, and my karma, learning these lessons of restraint, intuition and unconditional love.<br />
But I think he did go on the camino, of what he told me it was a rocky path with him, more on the path of love and his relations then anything, but since we've last spoken he seems to have a much more settled life in London now.<br />
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But Tom and I are inspired to go. Anything involving an adventure, strangers, a opportunity to document and film a path intrigues me. Not to mention Europe. It's been 5 years since I have returned there.<br />
I have faith in our path , in the doors opening for us, We're always held, and we've already been through all sorts of fire. Unconditional love really is the only way to go. When the fire gets hot, the ego gets dissolved and acceptance remains. It's amazing how much stronger one can become through every illusion.<br />
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Whenever disharmony arises the line comes...<br />
"What do you do when the illusion of separateness arises?<br />
you love<br />
you just love."<br />
<br />
.....<br />
It's a few days since I last wrote here.<br />
It's late now and its night. these are some recent drawings.<br />
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introspection. harmony. dreams.</div>
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It's april fools day.</div>
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I told Tom that I peed blue and there was a fish in my pee. He looked at me wide eyed and said "Blue??"</div>
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Then.... "...a fish..?.. What does that mean??"</div>
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April Fool's !</div>
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I like excuses to be silly.</div>
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We talked for a long time today, it felt good to hear him. To hear him speak of the mind. I felt high and there was a glowing light around him. The aura I guess you would call it, it was yellow white against an yellow ochre wall.</div>
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My heart feels open, I feel connected, slow, I'm in a transition and I know the only way through it is acceptance, gratitude, love and patience.</div>
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I talked to a soul sister from Los Angeles today, she reminded me of how everything is an illusion. Even lack, and how important it is to be grateful for what we have right now.</div>
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I hope to connect with some of those LA souls soon. I may even take an impromptu with Tom tomorrow.</div>
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Will see what is aligned in the stars. </div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-79233942491820822412013-12-08T15:47:00.000-08:002013-12-08T15:47:34.057-08:00Tour with Ivy Meadows and Itasca<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I left to tour the midwest with two of my closest friends about 4 days ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time is so elapsed, its like you're moving through spaces and places and sharing every day its really surreal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some days the groups are bigger, some days smaller.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's always an adventure to see where you will be next.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's a different kind of travelling then I've done before, less just exploring and more extremely intentional. You go to each of these places with an intention to share what you've made and are making. And then you have space to explore whats around, all this sweet unpredictability.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sang yesterday over Camilla's tracks and it felt so good. My voice still raspy from being sick but low sweet ohmm's, chants, my own made up language and something along the lines of "flow, flow , take it slooow/"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i bought a tiny green turtle for someone today and i've been more aligned with that animal this year then many others, there's a path towards slowing down that i am on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's light flight and rest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our first show in Philly we stayed with a really sweet guy who had an awesome art space. His house was littered with beautiful art creations and collaged dream catchers that he'd give out to people while he was on his writing tours. He gave me one of his books that we're all about sharing the work and moving it forward. My favourite in there was the story of the mystic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love mystics and their simple magic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we went to Baltimore where we stayed with a good friend Ami that I hadn't seen since India!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got to chill and meditate in her cozy space and came out of it and into a delicious warm dinner of some of the best home made indian food I'd ever had.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all jammed while she played her sitar. I tried out the synth and my favourite setting was the forest rain, the one where it sounded like i was just playing a bunch of rain sticks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We did late night tarot, I had a really positive reading for my art showing new beginnings, projects, and moving into a blessed space of serenity and celebration. Sounds good to me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We woke to coffee and I took some photos and interviewed her and her incredibly sweet boyfriend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we had a long drive to end up at a venue in Ohio, a giant coffee venue with beautiful paintings on the wall.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This incredible music called OMBRE was playing when we walked in and it just felt good to arrive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Camilla and I did one of my favorite sets yet and before that we made it to a show down the road where this girl sang over and over " I could crack and fall", there was a beauty, a strength, a vulnerability and a grace to her voice. I was mesmerized. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We went to the lake today, bought little gifts for people we love and now we're all at the coffee shop getting into our own worlds of reflections. About to leave for the next show to set up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been surrendering myself to the present moment and really soaking in the gift of this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Certain challenges have come up but as soon as i let go of resistance, the demons and the struggle really fades away,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Durability and innocence.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFi_i4zo-80HUaAGVD_ROHn0Is87FmFWATpRS_WdBjkmGpvAWt5gMueVyj9FkIBLQXCclP8Mh_7HHCvDv3YHye4uucVSI4We0r4bz3MVj7kQcfDSP4mmqvCUN3RM4gMms3_tVY7II6MLCg/s1600/tree0hugs.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFi_i4zo-80HUaAGVD_ROHn0Is87FmFWATpRS_WdBjkmGpvAWt5gMueVyj9FkIBLQXCclP8Mh_7HHCvDv3YHye4uucVSI4We0r4bz3MVj7kQcfDSP4mmqvCUN3RM4gMms3_tVY7II6MLCg/s640/tree0hugs.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before tour I spent 2 wks in New York.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got to see people I love and spend a week with Tom who I have fallen into this deep space of unconditional love and friendship with. It's one of the most transformative and healing relationships I have ever been through and in. We laughed, played, drew, sang with my roomie ben and ran around the city being blessed by people and things. It was an incredible high of magic and love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was hard to have him leave, I ran after him on the street to say good bye to him one more time and give him his journal at 4 am. I got a cold after this but was well worth the running through the streets in slippers and a night gown.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh strange magic, oh life, oh the waves, the unraveling mystery.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here and now in Ohio.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope everyone gets to explore what they love and they envision or to their fullest potential. All these gateways, all these opportunities to walk through, and these moments to just sink into gratitude.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of fire! and in the fire is purification.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">oh me, oh my, eskimo pie . ;)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"we're all crazy- we're just humans"--- kayla</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNFOfs-ZApYvpC6SHY6EcGN7iUHyJZCu3k0xt0-C8LXOmaJCTACF6FanD1T_HJva3B-qWrYaraXoRL4jzeExzl3qqp3r_YTfpa5sXvkt9CkOEhoVlQrGk5AlIqbHTP5km8hmEaPJKQCmNj/s1600/projections.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNFOfs-ZApYvpC6SHY6EcGN7iUHyJZCu3k0xt0-C8LXOmaJCTACF6FanD1T_HJva3B-qWrYaraXoRL4jzeExzl3qqp3r_YTfpa5sXvkt9CkOEhoVlQrGk5AlIqbHTP5km8hmEaPJKQCmNj/s640/projections.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-41360795121631291572013-11-19T22:56:00.002-08:002013-11-19T22:56:52.355-08:00NEW YORK<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLEXB5alq8TPHi6rrwSLS25v8yH109zJj0EL4QYKTmWSw4EdUgm-1dO_gASUhLcKWRD_teldKUjjrePbRaWmaeBEuydvybLurN9RIh5DviVM6TkusGnums-1QaKkzaidv89X4-q_TH_qI/s1600/IMG_1663.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLEXB5alq8TPHi6rrwSLS25v8yH109zJj0EL4QYKTmWSw4EdUgm-1dO_gASUhLcKWRD_teldKUjjrePbRaWmaeBEuydvybLurN9RIh5DviVM6TkusGnums-1QaKkzaidv89X4-q_TH_qI/s640/IMG_1663.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back in New York.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Man I love this place with my whole heart and soul.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The people, the magic, the people, the magic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It never really ends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every day since I got here has been this beautiful blur of blessings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just returned from a ten day silent meditation retreat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which was like a death and re-birth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I could write more about it, but simple as that 9 days of solitude and one day of sheer ecstatic shared bliss.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9 days to be with yourself and sift through the depths and shadows of ur soul, all the while learning to focus on the sensations of the body and realize it is ALL so temporary. All so impermanent. Move out of the suffering, out of the pain, because it will pass. You are not your thoughts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a gift.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i cant even insert any images that could paint the sort of beauty i have been experiencing in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the waves, the waves, the waves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they are always worth it to come back here to the here and now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there is nothing wrong and you're right where you're meant to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll be spending the next 2 and a half wks with some of the most brilliant people I know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Living in a cozy room with a shaman tarot deck, plants , a meditation spot, a desk to draw on and nothing but beautiful books to feast on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">blessed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">all these opportunities to share are coming up and its just so amazing the gifts the universe gives you when u just open yourself up to receiving.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhROmVSWBGaQ3ySuHUSHrbRfqSzLCGlNRzl0XUtc_O9PWYbJezV5RWiCgSPS-fHRh5Um2fkvGFRYuYTmSL04ZCi5i2q2X8AUnKXIHJ5FcOS_OByQWt5Rb4mqCTWyJUXM-LEWMgXXl9m2G-t/s1600/IMG_1839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhROmVSWBGaQ3ySuHUSHrbRfqSzLCGlNRzl0XUtc_O9PWYbJezV5RWiCgSPS-fHRh5Um2fkvGFRYuYTmSL04ZCi5i2q2X8AUnKXIHJ5FcOS_OByQWt5Rb4mqCTWyJUXM-LEWMgXXl9m2G-t/s640/IMG_1839.jpg" width="390" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my eyes are so tired but my heart and mind so awake.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i was at a poetry reading tonight and saw so many people I am in love with. Men and women.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cuddled into my friend Rose's lap and listening to people's beautifully honest words fill the room.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Laughter and brutality. Vulnerability and magic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One girl spoke of hands creating a shadow boat in the air with no waves to sail on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another sang little melodies through the chapters, his voice melting my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This guy Bryce,- good friends with Camilla - who I am touring with next month told me about when Alejandro Jodorowsky read his tarot in Paris.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I laughed, ate banana bread and kept on recognizing all these people's beauty and reflecting it back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt like I had taken drugs. I love happiness, happiness and sharing happiness is the best drug there is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now it is nearly 2 am and I felt 20 again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">20 or 25 it doesn't matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's all good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i am going to drift into this hazy blanket of sleep now, with soft light and stars twinkling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the universe is a shimmery magical gunk that is always changing, as soon as you think you've grasped it, it reforms and turns into something wonderful.</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-12059255847978124872013-10-25T00:36:00.000-07:002013-10-25T00:37:26.231-07:00mmmmm....happenings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my camera hasn't been working.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it's a simple fix of battery charger but I've actually enjoyed a month off of documenting life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever since I bought that camera before I left for India it had become my other arm, there to document and freeze those moments in which I knew words couldn't create. Colors and faces and experiences that an image could speak about in infinite ways.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm in Santa Cruz, this place has become a strange magnet for me, with people I am magnetized to.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no time here, and the days come and go like the ride of the sea, washing over me as i lay floating in it. Like I'm 5 and there is no where to be and no responsibility to attend to.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkq2pRBi7d0eAVxgWpNGtwmMbnZ4Z3vvl2vm3GgY1z7aJoJzUQdZ53Nmw_ZVOi5YgblMS1dBQzxRqj0uImCm4McO-mRdBqFbiY1y50Dq9ZDpp7oWEBJp7HcuCbfk75AvZHab1L92sBiDuB/s1600/elk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkq2pRBi7d0eAVxgWpNGtwmMbnZ4Z3vvl2vm3GgY1z7aJoJzUQdZ53Nmw_ZVOi5YgblMS1dBQzxRqj0uImCm4McO-mRdBqFbiY1y50Dq9ZDpp7oWEBJp7HcuCbfk75AvZHab1L92sBiDuB/s640/elk.jpg" width="478" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart is opening wider to the idea of enjoying everything, worrying less and relaxing more.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm reading Patti Smith's "Just Kids" and I am soo in love with this book. The way she weaves words and the story of two artists who go from nothing to making such a mark on this world. It creates so much faith in my own storyline.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember interviewing a friend in LA, what she learned this year was that</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"you can make something outta nothing."</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfriKN30HpVoS9Jd1ZVER52qEgf0IridBW6gWr0-d5ZhVZa7yRCYZrGY1QfFamJvsWp17t6_T-oaKA3R7vV86HzUc9OjBItEsea7QsileVEGDGj6l4-_gTUZhb4uKw6QTnaM5qc6xSoqYb/s1600/ohfun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfriKN30HpVoS9Jd1ZVER52qEgf0IridBW6gWr0-d5ZhVZa7yRCYZrGY1QfFamJvsWp17t6_T-oaKA3R7vV86HzUc9OjBItEsea7QsileVEGDGj6l4-_gTUZhb4uKw6QTnaM5qc6xSoqYb/s640/ohfun.jpg" width="478" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't be discouraged by where you are, so much is possible.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we really can't foresee the blessings or the breakthroughs, we just have to keep falling into them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moving through the intuitive flow, reaching out, showing up, letting it happen.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Warm mornings and synchronistic moments.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Less asking and more seeing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">warm tea and smiling faces.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">explosive giggle fits and the sound of crickets.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">rolling fog and african dance music.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">dark chocolate and red socks.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">finding feathers and migrating butterflies.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">long distance phone calls and white light.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">warm love and embraced bodies.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM0nBzHXBGTnFKPDhFB9-X-XdUotRowcg-Cwft6E0ZxQ6oMk7qcwFzaL9EFxHfg290NVv7q-DUQ6bnsXQKd74xJestv6dSoKDUWtpfAgNQmnDYzICZRAM7LQgWgHHyxmLlfRN5TkpFYbWL/s1600/IMG_2059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM0nBzHXBGTnFKPDhFB9-X-XdUotRowcg-Cwft6E0ZxQ6oMk7qcwFzaL9EFxHfg290NVv7q-DUQ6bnsXQKd74xJestv6dSoKDUWtpfAgNQmnDYzICZRAM7LQgWgHHyxmLlfRN5TkpFYbWL/s640/IMG_2059.jpg" width="478" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcntg9x8Q0vLTKipOQzoumj8MzzmpDIPBBw1mKbOB8_i5fe9byA_z8p66itYo_YzxfJGTwfJUEz0rdzNfddokE2whLO4zB0KxbQfbYu-EtdmU1oWE7Y-v6m2DHEl21AyL6NN7GR29WKkRi/s1600/tom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcntg9x8Q0vLTKipOQzoumj8MzzmpDIPBBw1mKbOB8_i5fe9byA_z8p66itYo_YzxfJGTwfJUEz0rdzNfddokE2whLO4zB0KxbQfbYu-EtdmU1oWE7Y-v6m2DHEl21AyL6NN7GR29WKkRi/s640/tom.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">mmm .</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">its almost sunset hear. People laugh on the porch, I'm in this sleepy hazy mood and just want to sink into enjoying where i am and reading this book until night comes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe a task here and there but for the most part- stillness.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am grateful.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis8f6O-CQ4xH7HJwzC6wyvKE6cqD_7J4r2RiHAci6tya7cG63RVncqq-KrXbzx5J_eRENAQgMdbJy0Ar2CNvuxg4witxdGUw6wq2TUXl4z094LheEA-Xmwxla92vQRcKjC1nP0djPFbO5u/s1600/dance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis8f6O-CQ4xH7HJwzC6wyvKE6cqD_7J4r2RiHAci6tya7cG63RVncqq-KrXbzx5J_eRENAQgMdbJy0Ar2CNvuxg4witxdGUw6wq2TUXl4z094LheEA-Xmwxla92vQRcKjC1nP0djPFbO5u/s640/dance.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-20182602620882362822013-10-11T13:07:00.000-07:002013-10-11T13:07:35.674-07:00it is what it is<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY01cWdNiiDznZpMt054E3tCY40uuqRFQYKtN37oCGZEOH3I2viuHVaP4_ffBfC42JmgK0BaoAZT1QRKkd1tOYmy9AkKsIh3pOD7nTPe2HCE5l0GPFrQ-nW9cBM_MrA3CGhUpeaaHI9LzC/s1600/IMG_1737+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY01cWdNiiDznZpMt054E3tCY40uuqRFQYKtN37oCGZEOH3I2viuHVaP4_ffBfC42JmgK0BaoAZT1QRKkd1tOYmy9AkKsIh3pOD7nTPe2HCE5l0GPFrQ-nW9cBM_MrA3CGhUpeaaHI9LzC/s640/IMG_1737+%25281%2529.jpg" width="478" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sitting in front of a mirror.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whenever I sit this way, cross legged, I think of a dream I had a long time ago with an ex-boyfriend who is still a friend and who I hold in highest regard.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the dream he had told me, "We heal ourselves by seeing ourselves."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And we sat meditating in front of the mirror together.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZXf8O_oNPQkoYHNZKdlPt9IYbyh0m2oSUwdMYrDKs_mTGgMAydltgVYLeOliI3qcLwly_pM8MV92MAPtX8vSlmviJmFdu3rHTb2xFBxr9wNeodCf9RIXNJETzC99kdtdCxCCnUAyIEwp/s1600/IMG_1957.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZXf8O_oNPQkoYHNZKdlPt9IYbyh0m2oSUwdMYrDKs_mTGgMAydltgVYLeOliI3qcLwly_pM8MV92MAPtX8vSlmviJmFdu3rHTb2xFBxr9wNeodCf9RIXNJETzC99kdtdCxCCnUAyIEwp/s400/IMG_1957.jpg" width="298" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other day I saw birds flying out of my chest, I was in a class with my Aunt but I felt all this beautiful strange freedom, release and liberty moving from my heart center.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I was in New York I found out someone I have been in love with for 2 years got engaged.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was surreal and yet another dream had told me this was to come before i found out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had been prepared for this in Mexico, I saw it in my dream, but had forgotten and it still came as a punch in the chest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The part of me that envisioned me marrying him and being with him one day was slowly shattering and being left behind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acceptance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But a huge part of my heart didn't want to accept it, the child there wanted to jump and scream and say it's not possible.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't tell him how I really felt because I couldn't find it in my heart to do that to him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I really wanted was to just be happy for him, to be genuinely happy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before I left for my 4 month trip I fell in love with a soul named Tom. He would tell me stories in flemish, dance with me to Bobby Mcferrin, and sit naked with me down by the stream.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I first saw him I knew that we had known each other, there was this reflection and just recognition.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We sat under a tree and I held hands with him and my brother as we Ohm-ed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This person has been there for me during my whole trip, in times when I felt most afraid or anxious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yet giving myself to this relationship is not easy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart is still so in love with this person who is slowly fading away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like a star in the sky.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigHrz9kimuFzlCEs1tRNZh1ed9h4v7Eux8uSRRLtEROsvVIS3oplmtKrX6ibYpOeUr6M-3eVaephjc_U_KYhkJKlcbiBYLm62-F9Tif_rNss6MFhyphenhyphenIaVuzQV_iH6f5m-ppaDlKdoh7rQ7K/s1600/IMG_1852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigHrz9kimuFzlCEs1tRNZh1ed9h4v7Eux8uSRRLtEROsvVIS3oplmtKrX6ibYpOeUr6M-3eVaephjc_U_KYhkJKlcbiBYLm62-F9Tif_rNss6MFhyphenhyphenIaVuzQV_iH6f5m-ppaDlKdoh7rQ7K/s640/IMG_1852.jpg" width="478" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I am fasting, yesterday I spent time with this beautiful 21 yr old named Renee, she told me that fasting is one of the best forms of prayer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can receive answers, clarity and faith.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her Mom said a prayer for me on the phone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be human, we experience so much, the heart can take so much, we can navigate through so much. Today my friend Rose wrote this to me:</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"some are blossoming, some are sleeping</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we all turn into flowers when we accept the sun</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when we drink rain and not feel guilty</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when we curl around one another and grow faster when someone is singing"</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">---------------</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSFI6kid8WtQJ7QzWElDQEhYMMolrE9_WOKPZgwsoUuojYQX_Ph8oer0P1qw4GancNF7oTMtd-S7_Iw0xVF5UyYWgqflO3gUptQtLwjFVaNf1jKuAACuUSNi9n_LEOeWw4VyZDLpqV-vRa/s1600/Screen+Shot+2556-07-11+at+10.50.02+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSFI6kid8WtQJ7QzWElDQEhYMMolrE9_WOKPZgwsoUuojYQX_Ph8oer0P1qw4GancNF7oTMtd-S7_Iw0xVF5UyYWgqflO3gUptQtLwjFVaNf1jKuAACuUSNi9n_LEOeWw4VyZDLpqV-vRa/s640/Screen+Shot+2556-07-11+at+10.50.02+AM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZxfGrO-8qgsizcu_E4id6CDplrtvEPup-I7VEGtD0D5Al2kOGrJ86h1Ibt2O_nN9gnV_mb-WiaRCK17Vpyn_rLygI5YtHz9kJ4c23kjrt887DxmQRl_jx0n6ICc9xsmgS5TSKKJJitXH/s1600/IMG_1732.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZxfGrO-8qgsizcu_E4id6CDplrtvEPup-I7VEGtD0D5Al2kOGrJ86h1Ibt2O_nN9gnV_mb-WiaRCK17Vpyn_rLygI5YtHz9kJ4c23kjrt887DxmQRl_jx0n6ICc9xsmgS5TSKKJJitXH/s400/IMG_1732.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this morning I talked to friends from Israel, France, Germany, New York and here in Los Angeles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ha, it feels like such a blessing to be able to talk to people from all over the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love my friends so incredibly much, and my family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love my sisters, the way they create their homes, the way they reflect light, the way they laugh at me and all my strange forms of being.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two days ago me and my little sister went down to the pier, the water jumped up at us and splashed over us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We screamed and laughed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Surprise. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That is sort of how life works, you never know what wave will wash over u and what will make u smile or surprise laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You never know who you are about to encounter.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4gxgXegEBDXZfnTNzyIVq2sQHQsqLR0fw5ssIJL8xeuGCpjF8TFnXT8JAXfvPeqZn6R9naujjXM4UF9cvRBRP8qwkJwsqg7IlhOjYeZV-WpKghDZHsnEBaA1EMOSBcRwHwo9Ged-FtXPI/s1600/IMG_1962.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4gxgXegEBDXZfnTNzyIVq2sQHQsqLR0fw5ssIJL8xeuGCpjF8TFnXT8JAXfvPeqZn6R9naujjXM4UF9cvRBRP8qwkJwsqg7IlhOjYeZV-WpKghDZHsnEBaA1EMOSBcRwHwo9Ged-FtXPI/s640/IMG_1962.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday I did a surprise interview with someone I had been introduced to almost a year ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His name is Timothy Conway, he wrote this amazing book called "Women of Grace and Power"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had been at a Satsung of his once at his house and I will always remember the calm, beautiful, and peaceful nature he holds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He said;<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Everything is vanishing moment to moment, everything that we thought was problematic is vanishing moment to moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked him what he wished, or thought was good for people to learn?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he said</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" People will learn what they are supposed to learn, serendipity, a lot of it is surprising and creative and fun. But really for people to know they are made of love, we are made of this divine love and light.- This is what I am , realization."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then he said, " we all have kindred souls we're vibrating with, everyone at our deepest being is our soul mate... If we're loving harmonious beings things will come up, patience, courageous, to be open to guidance, and follow it when given.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a divine dream, and when we come home to love, everything seems like a beautiful manifestation of love."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He told me that I would bring tremendous fruits into the world because I am in love with love and people. Sometimes I feel bad about this, how much I can fall in love or how greatly I can love so many people. My meditation told me today, "be kind with yourself, it's ok to have all these feelings."</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSc_czVTVSlIli6bO2tPtkrI-ccTpX7Z0USEtSrd8ICF86AkmQEU0KFmBaO5um8A1WNh2rW5hj_jfg4kygK5Esk5iZT5ZXXrcc8E70pKtWS2ktlMN08tWP51y0yVEIwUOiKYJmBb5AeK0N/s1600/IMG_1944.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSc_czVTVSlIli6bO2tPtkrI-ccTpX7Z0USEtSrd8ICF86AkmQEU0KFmBaO5um8A1WNh2rW5hj_jfg4kygK5Esk5iZT5ZXXrcc8E70pKtWS2ktlMN08tWP51y0yVEIwUOiKYJmBb5AeK0N/s640/IMG_1944.jpg" width="478" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm going to finish my fast, go walk in the sun, make some more art, animate and enjoy today, I'm going to receive clarity, take action, and move in the direction of my dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will laugh and enjoy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will move into lightness and remember this is a great dream and play, I just have to play my part the way that feels most natural and right to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am so grateful to every opportunity to grow, may I live in peace and continual fertility.</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-32537276907892814242013-10-09T11:52:00.001-07:002013-10-09T11:52:38.768-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's time for me to re-new my website.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's time for me to find a home.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's time for me to animate some stars.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-CI0Q8eUiEZpioamUd90GCfyAWPAktopWWoxPs4UU_1dFq_lWPygRISZvQkq7-6qRDyx5vw6BqwXTVvifu7opaQDyPfqYy5wMA7ODGTDkTzJm664zh9HLZzg8EGmdOKSrmEyLDcqEP3D/s1600/animation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-CI0Q8eUiEZpioamUd90GCfyAWPAktopWWoxPs4UU_1dFq_lWPygRISZvQkq7-6qRDyx5vw6BqwXTVvifu7opaQDyPfqYy5wMA7ODGTDkTzJm664zh9HLZzg8EGmdOKSrmEyLDcqEP3D/s640/animation.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The order of these three things happening will probably not be how I wrote them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Animating stars will happen in the next hour, updating website will be in a week, and finding a home will probably be in the next month.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now everything is perception so I could easily change all of these but I think that time line is what sounds and feels most right to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm at my sister's in Santa Barbara.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's a cute town here, beautiful and it's nice to see my sister.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last night I saw my little sister and she's head over heels in love and it's incredibly beautiful and entertaining to watch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's nice to see people you love glow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sat next to a woman from Chicago at my sister's restuarant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We talked about Cocteau Twins, Sam Cooke, Sigur Ros and other music that had touched us in some way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was significantly older then me, but maybe only by 8 years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some how we began opening ourselves more and more. We talked about psychic perceptions, about the way we know something feels right or wrong and how you can choose to ignore red flags or really see them, we talked about the dream world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've always had a vivid dream world, ever since I can remember. And often times I have been able to communicate with people I love in dreams or receive messages from them or other worlds it feels. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most vivid and recent message I got was the day I left New York and I had given birth in a dream, my Mom told me in the dream, "this child is going to heal yourself and your family and many people in the world."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never saw the baby, I just remember the feeling, as if I had created something very powerful and new. It may have been a birth to myself or who knows, a foreshadow of whats to come.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I dreamt of moonstone two nights ago, of black feather earrings that had crystals like stars in them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sang with a drum in my dream and put water on the drum to open it up.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0KKu5at3HnwC2xPCBr1C8Db2DkTS54B0PnugX2pHISDX5GVPjKeuEBT4rVKm-vSRBc479Ri3FLOWXZ1l0Uwb9veyPM0wpQFbKNXKLrxF66Wu08kT0Xh8OCaa0p0F3hVp1JTCjY4V1iVT/s1600/birdsmandala.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0KKu5at3HnwC2xPCBr1C8Db2DkTS54B0PnugX2pHISDX5GVPjKeuEBT4rVKm-vSRBc479Ri3FLOWXZ1l0Uwb9veyPM0wpQFbKNXKLrxF66Wu08kT0Xh8OCaa0p0F3hVp1JTCjY4V1iVT/s640/birdsmandala.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(a healing Mandala my friend Tom made me)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the end of my night this woman I was sitting with had to take a phone call from her mom. You could tell it was a hard phone call and then she began to tell me a story that was going on, you could see how heavy it weighed on her heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I told her how important it is to love your family and hold space but how you can't carry their pain. The best you can do for them is visualize them happy and have faith that they will get through it. Because everything passes, everything changes and I believe everything has the power to heal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Patience and laughter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two of my saving graces.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaXIWCSRtmfZba7ObAYuvT88UIYMm61JWVEM8X5fv_DNtAtYKUqKvXa-hED8NSBvvmBgBiwWmGTQ0_GfO9ryX3NP3VN5D1x7glhG6u0P8CjPK77w_NAOJWQ3ajEcfMgP0X0FeqW0HHSqt/s1600/times4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaXIWCSRtmfZba7ObAYuvT88UIYMm61JWVEM8X5fv_DNtAtYKUqKvXa-hED8NSBvvmBgBiwWmGTQ0_GfO9ryX3NP3VN5D1x7glhG6u0P8CjPK77w_NAOJWQ3ajEcfMgP0X0FeqW0HHSqt/s640/times4.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stages.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've loved being back because it's been so nice to see and catch up with people I love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It seems like so many people have evolved so incredibly in only 4-5 months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I guess a lot can happen in that time, we're all like caterpillars, continually evolving and taking shape.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well on my list of things to do I wrote ; "write a story."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The story I'm writing is my own though.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I woke up, to my sister, she had to leave early , I moved my car, the sky was grey, I had showerd warm water all over my skin and I read from this book of magic of the Qabala, while i sipped warm milk brown tea, i found a passage that read:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"There is much to learn and an eternity to learn it, but before we can learn the new, we must unlearn the old...You may notice that it appears quite simple, but this is the first that must be learned. It is in the simple that the great can be found. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Build your universe from a simple and strong foundation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are surprised that I say "build." But that is what you will be doing. For as you discover the universe, you will recreate your own. ..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are only limited by ourselves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are never given a dream or a wish without also being given the means and the power to make it manifest."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ted andrews</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60dCbKmTSTEnjd0doENL9YRB5YpcDEdqOHQmsu8K1hY95Y65UWIDzoP115f0mXSCEuqwJ97g_4nE5CMVGHyV7fOXuoipfICu4UKID9ASZTjXMjVMvqh3WocEZdiqxpLy539r3Z11MwgVe/s1600/camilla.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60dCbKmTSTEnjd0doENL9YRB5YpcDEdqOHQmsu8K1hY95Y65UWIDzoP115f0mXSCEuqwJ97g_4nE5CMVGHyV7fOXuoipfICu4UKID9ASZTjXMjVMvqh3WocEZdiqxpLy539r3Z11MwgVe/s640/camilla.png" width="494" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXt60ncxUQn8wiMclc3Cqf_btyiAqhojQlBMwLK_c4PDvk6TCYXWXKIwwL5SSicvRQNpbGPZnDjHSoYyg6JBz9s1QtiFgGYVdFPK0LtaNaJcut7che5LVrP3aKZGW2OQ_qbSFwuK8LMVd/s1600/no-fear.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXt60ncxUQn8wiMclc3Cqf_btyiAqhojQlBMwLK_c4PDvk6TCYXWXKIwwL5SSicvRQNpbGPZnDjHSoYyg6JBz9s1QtiFgGYVdFPK0LtaNaJcut7che5LVrP3aKZGW2OQ_qbSFwuK8LMVd/s640/no-fear.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"things are hidden only to be revealed at a latter time."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">)mark 4:22(</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-85554676761363300232013-09-19T20:24:00.000-07:002013-09-19T20:24:16.321-07:00Hello full moon and Mexico City Rain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNAf9U3bjvF-uMpIgkcyTfd5tIkQb_NkSh2MpHf-hECBKztKNu60KBwS16F73T3gBnc8tMrD4Q3WrFbYf_B7RhrQhU_8_Rp7HK4Wb3UZzAaXDJ64sDzcLGwsdcNGIFaHgNDsakc0MoZTAc/s1600/portrait.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNAf9U3bjvF-uMpIgkcyTfd5tIkQb_NkSh2MpHf-hECBKztKNu60KBwS16F73T3gBnc8tMrD4Q3WrFbYf_B7RhrQhU_8_Rp7HK4Wb3UZzAaXDJ64sDzcLGwsdcNGIFaHgNDsakc0MoZTAc/s640/portrait.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm in Mexico City. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's pouring rain with lightning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of the day the rain stayed away and the sun was out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This has been my first day really on my own, the past 2-3 wks have been spent with others daily.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm exhausted today but have not done much, yesterday was one of the best most sound sleeps of my life. And yet i feel slowed down and sleepy. Like my eyes are soon to close and I keep holding them open.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I spoke to an old love today.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was strange to talk again but also so nice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There was no fear, just lightness. No expectation just general interest in how this other person was doing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some people leave such beautiful intense marks on your soul.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is it that we fall in love with with other people?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those little things that make each person unique.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think I fall more and more in love with laughter daily, and the more I can spend time with people who make me laugh, the better off I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm staying at my friend Jesus's , I actually only know him through my friend Taryn and another friend named Lee lee in Chicago. Taryn met Jesus at a party at my house in Chicago where she was dressed as a cactus. I do love my friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am always so grateful when a seemingly stranger opens their home and shares their life with me.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHcGu6HhcmBrkWGnZ7XSDMnFojsU9cTBdrBctBUH3S_JrX0x5kxXkK1-vHfamFf09SUopB5s_tLefXBGeAu4C-gK5l6ym-u6eBDS6XbNXL7WTKm0iccPPPi49WYbVvBV_3WkGf8BbyOnoy/s1600/taryn1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="624" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHcGu6HhcmBrkWGnZ7XSDMnFojsU9cTBdrBctBUH3S_JrX0x5kxXkK1-vHfamFf09SUopB5s_tLefXBGeAu4C-gK5l6ym-u6eBDS6XbNXL7WTKm0iccPPPi49WYbVvBV_3WkGf8BbyOnoy/s640/taryn1.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> here is Taryn as a cactus and as my wingman at my BFA show a few yrs back when i was a cloud. :)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3jhPgW3aGGpBbcj78Zvj4IqIoDmB-anmY_2VuimZa7ggdyZKi0mxPVqZapi20IwAdBPFfr29zxlmONBo9tn3M8dp_dz8YCsckAaG1wEFBngYlJgCSmvbVPJ0cUpChqIc_qTxZvSqFexf/s1600/taryn2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3jhPgW3aGGpBbcj78Zvj4IqIoDmB-anmY_2VuimZa7ggdyZKi0mxPVqZapi20IwAdBPFfr29zxlmONBo9tn3M8dp_dz8YCsckAaG1wEFBngYlJgCSmvbVPJ0cUpChqIc_qTxZvSqFexf/s640/taryn2.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we live in what ever reality we chose.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I like the reality of artists, they use everything as material, a realm of infinite possibilities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- . . ... ..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">this one time i fell off the face of the earth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">no one knew exactly where i went but it was more less into the cave of my own heart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i saw many things there</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">things that were soft, things that we're hard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but the more i studied each part the more i saw it was all the same</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the heart was like a giant sponge, and its capacity to love was/is limitless</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the deeper i went , the more i found</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">white limitless space</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">space like canvas</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">space to paint with</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to fill new pictures in</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to fill new people</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">even with all the other marks and all the other people who had entered</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it whispered to me- you will Never stop loving</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and you will never be alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">as the sun rises each morning, you too will rise and fall a million times over</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you will learn much about stillness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">much about movement</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">all about wings</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and more about roots.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you will find yourself reborn again, like a butterfly, out of its cocoon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you're flight will be short and at the same time it will never end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">this is how it works.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in the continual realm of no time and no space.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">all is one and all is nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so use what you have, love what you have</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">let go of drama's </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">everyday you can re hape what it is you see, what you want,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and at the same time you can do nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">life will hold you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you can Relax, you can believe , </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and then you can see, the stars have always been shinning for you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the wind whispering what you already know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the rain really kissing your skin when you thought you were caught in a storm.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the sun breaking open your own limitations that you realize are only illusions you don't need.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you are limitless. your love is limitless, your potential is limitless.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you will create things that you never thought possible, you will continue to amaze yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Enjoy it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> all the flowers, all the earth, all the world is here for you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hug the next tree you see and listen closely, it will share something with you that you needed to hear.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZLmoBfki_KblHFTF678R0vDigg6FTU2wXvDJnjSEdShKJQM5tl4Q8AzE5kQoo8T8I7wrq86F45aamXPna8BvpLcCYKGbfpDrM0lfT-N-F1paY-HbShmOyvdSvPIIiAGBxW8EtsmKUvqHv/s1600/awakening.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZLmoBfki_KblHFTF678R0vDigg6FTU2wXvDJnjSEdShKJQM5tl4Q8AzE5kQoo8T8I7wrq86F45aamXPna8BvpLcCYKGbfpDrM0lfT-N-F1paY-HbShmOyvdSvPIIiAGBxW8EtsmKUvqHv/s640/awakening.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">mmm sleep time early for me</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-66900756060500279172013-09-14T16:43:00.001-07:002013-09-14T16:43:22.968-07:00waves and wisdom<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtQ7u0rOfpdM6LqP_mj1GJZXOjQMWdE1dkX1ZbtvHQ9hjzb1PfHFiZTZYm2mHAUYtEorgN_1cDw1NeaNbnD3LgiZChpbU4tsopXAXMe-rIV_-bQQHKVOyzTbpg3UJu9gqlQvr7qCwdxdzB/s1600/waves.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtQ7u0rOfpdM6LqP_mj1GJZXOjQMWdE1dkX1ZbtvHQ9hjzb1PfHFiZTZYm2mHAUYtEorgN_1cDw1NeaNbnD3LgiZChpbU4tsopXAXMe-rIV_-bQQHKVOyzTbpg3UJu9gqlQvr7qCwdxdzB/s640/waves.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Waves and Wisdom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm in a Cafe, I've been wanting to write for the past two weeks but this is the first time I've really taken time for myself like this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have been at this yoga orphanage which has had so much magic, and so much challenge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't tell you how beautiful its been to work with some of the kids, their hands in my hair, the way they grab my hand, tell me they think I'm beautiful and the way they giggle their sweet giggles and call people from all over different parts of their worlds their Mami's.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Detachment is a new lesson for me, letting go of expectations and coming back to the now. Trusting, slowing down, I wonder if we ever stop learning the same lessons.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been searching for my home for a long time and I think eventually it's just going to find me, so I let go of control, of trying to figure it out. Whenever I give things up to spirit miracles happen, or like this wave- this calm wave ensues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been spending lots of time with my friend's baby, its so so wild. This tiny child who is continually looking for something to eat. She is so beautiful though, her smile and eyes are from another world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And her name- Azuri -means higher dimensional being.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFWEB5ZTm2nfb9tionWl8rU9rMSiByhgTF9bTdVWCr4kY5Y41C-7h5cpoIsMA7-YwW0GHRA2U7Y6uutX7n2uQwQ0_7wluZ0AQdKWX9fR6bW3dSkuYk4iitGVpZmB41-uc1tZ1RubiME-E9/s1600/baby.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFWEB5ZTm2nfb9tionWl8rU9rMSiByhgTF9bTdVWCr4kY5Y41C-7h5cpoIsMA7-YwW0GHRA2U7Y6uutX7n2uQwQ0_7wluZ0AQdKWX9fR6bW3dSkuYk4iitGVpZmB41-uc1tZ1RubiME-E9/s640/baby.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Cafe I am in is closing, so I'll just write a few things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other morning I fell apart in yoga, this song came on that broke my heart and opened it up to everything I had been feeling. All of the fear and sadness, and it just felt so good to cry. I asked for a miracle that day and then received it, blessings of people at a farmer's market and a Temazcal ceremony that totally calmed me down, made my heart and voice sing, and helped me feel so connected.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remembered NOW- be here NOW. stop worrying about where u will be in the future when you return.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things can change so so quickly.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiI2ZNf0f8qh1E28KVPpWaL6R3naurPlmG-EM6T1A2EN-gVw4CY7Xze5HDBjOLHsbhLuidK7oOBE3SEgVQi00XVAj64TRhADvt82_bVhHWZgGiArYU-T57k5a9IVDBpNMqs33PflQ3h1Wb/s1600/ceremony.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiI2ZNf0f8qh1E28KVPpWaL6R3naurPlmG-EM6T1A2EN-gVw4CY7Xze5HDBjOLHsbhLuidK7oOBE3SEgVQi00XVAj64TRhADvt82_bVhHWZgGiArYU-T57k5a9IVDBpNMqs33PflQ3h1Wb/s640/ceremony.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Sun, i love the sun. I love this image, I love its warmth and light.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love this quote I found from a friend:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12px; text-align: start;">“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishin</span><wbr style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12px; text-align: start;"></wbr><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12px; text-align: start;">g light of your own being.” Hafiz</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGu28X7zBZTJxuNGkTK-zQtW4UXc8cz66oPlRCI8WM5GnUoZYRoEJh3W85VfiAp9gkA5JOiM5eRmo371xdKfKNml6yPBKwvQdeVEXlyqwDC4SmsJvc5trJdbifIHjcGiYDTNBfwA3Mz3N/s1600/miracles2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGu28X7zBZTJxuNGkTK-zQtW4UXc8cz66oPlRCI8WM5GnUoZYRoEJh3W85VfiAp9gkA5JOiM5eRmo371xdKfKNml6yPBKwvQdeVEXlyqwDC4SmsJvc5trJdbifIHjcGiYDTNBfwA3Mz3N/s640/miracles2.png" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A challenging day that turned bright again. LOVE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i keep learning on this trip here that I cannot control anyone eles's feelings or take them personally, I can only control my own, have compassion and open myself up to understanding.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUa1WrS3mrra1SNUo35myXiWiay9Mri0bJXXvBs5E7POSCYWNiaSsKi2WoI_8tcGB473XvKnNMblAVbkfNxR9IHaoWCcGfdXXUsPBs6GvyDEY23gW7M4tsNacI2lDE2X-47gmHSv9AnEQa/s1600/amor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUa1WrS3mrra1SNUo35myXiWiay9Mri0bJXXvBs5E7POSCYWNiaSsKi2WoI_8tcGB473XvKnNMblAVbkfNxR9IHaoWCcGfdXXUsPBs6GvyDEY23gW7M4tsNacI2lDE2X-47gmHSv9AnEQa/s640/amor.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And lastly a wish for a Panda.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Because Panda is cute and friendly."</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTZn_EZRdXAhKrwtfx64XlJp0F354JvRZg4zbVo4gVICMixFbqcZczvcGGoW4PTic2Hrs9N_t8TjM3q4RncdV-ZxTxYGpg-DA__Ky8F6yfvjyRJRv6RUSI834manrxm_peblZ3aVYyT9a/s1600/panda-wish.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="414" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTZn_EZRdXAhKrwtfx64XlJp0F354JvRZg4zbVo4gVICMixFbqcZczvcGGoW4PTic2Hrs9N_t8TjM3q4RncdV-ZxTxYGpg-DA__Ky8F6yfvjyRJRv6RUSI834manrxm_peblZ3aVYyT9a/s640/panda-wish.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">keep riding that wave!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:) moving into tranquility and faiiitthhhh, and happiness. </span></div>
in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-50535432455637164802013-08-25T19:03:00.000-07:002013-08-25T19:03:26.154-07:00regalitos de la dia<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">full belly, rainy day.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj4aUF-k1y2y9S1IsgMg7gfR2KGfv6gY5RjpIJ70V5M8jHVOnbrLZctopPfUUadvU3y_r_xyrfEdhl9QzIqnPOli8RyRM3Y_b0zEWSEJcOhJRLaU-5cLU9PEmE31MDMkgxlQxdglJRbsi1/s1600/see2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj4aUF-k1y2y9S1IsgMg7gfR2KGfv6gY5RjpIJ70V5M8jHVOnbrLZctopPfUUadvU3y_r_xyrfEdhl9QzIqnPOli8RyRM3Y_b0zEWSEJcOhJRLaU-5cLU9PEmE31MDMkgxlQxdglJRbsi1/s640/see2.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i can't stop listening to this music a friend sent me awhile ago. this one song continually says "stay open."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and i just love that line, the whole feeling of the song, its like sensual and sleepy . haha</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">today i met a boy who took a crystal i received as a gift and wrapped it in purple macromeye. It was so cool to watch him hand make this necklace for me. All for 50 pesos, which is about 4 dollars.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqslEJb9dYrOl67UPZjCi8W-F2bR-kj0ZRs-4bu_SXAZStgP1rIQ7achbS3Kf_KbjcIz1yOZ7tHk_U8n23o7yRBtFLzvTuX2K5tHQF0-HyXweTcACerKJgQ6BYguF1CoJxJhirQmWF6i91/s1600/amethyst.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqslEJb9dYrOl67UPZjCi8W-F2bR-kj0ZRs-4bu_SXAZStgP1rIQ7achbS3Kf_KbjcIz1yOZ7tHk_U8n23o7yRBtFLzvTuX2K5tHQF0-HyXweTcACerKJgQ6BYguF1CoJxJhirQmWF6i91/s640/amethyst.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't know why I woke up with some doubts and anxiety, I opened a book called the 72 names of God. I got it for a friend who helped fund my project and have been carrying it around ever since. The page I opened to was "Fear-less". It talks about stepping into your fears to reveal light and really ask yourself, "what am i afraid of?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was a good question. So I went up to the roof of the hostel to talk to the sky, dance, stretch and eat breakfast.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I asked myself my fears and spoke them aloud.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid of being alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid I won't have enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid I'll never stop moving.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid I won't find one community.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid of knowing my Father.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid that I won't accomplish my dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm afraid i don't know what I want.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The list went on for some time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I asked myself what I was grateful for, or what I loved about myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm grateful that I am here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful that I take care of myself and my body.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful to my art.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful that I follow my dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful that I listen to my inner voice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful that I have such amazing friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am grateful that I can inspire my family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And the list went on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I danced and felt a little lighter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I spent the day walking around this little european looking city.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought of what a friend said the other day, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">don't move until you know it is right, don't move until you know it is right</span>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No need to rush.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For a minute I really wanted to try to make it to NY for a vision quest in mid September. Which is a Native American tradition where you go out into the wilderness and spend 3 nights and days without eating or drinking and receive visions. It sounds really intense but also , I don't know , really beautiful and I'm drawn to it. I'm at a point where I am asking for visions on how to navigate through the path. But at the same time, I feel I am also on my own vision quest in Mexico and to cut my time short here would be counter productive in some way. It's all perspective I suppose.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But for some reason an artists exhibition name comes to mind;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Take your time."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So i feel I may be guided to take my time here and finish up my Mexico Chapter as I feel theres still a lot to explore in the month.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mali cooked an amazing dinner of rice and veggies. I moved over to her house to stay for a night or two before moving to the community.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Where ever I am I am never really alone and I love how open people .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Earlier this year I had a vision of being pregnant, people kept telling me and my ex Ben that I was going to have a child. Ha, thats what happens when you're in a very spiritual community with astrologists, psychics and shamans, they project what they feel. And then it was strange, I began to feel it too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After things ended I also felt the possibility fade away, it was strange and sort of one of the hardest things about the ending. Almost like an emptiness. That possibility and fertility being turned off. Not that I really think I was going to have a baby that year, but still there was this strange beautiful energy and possibility there, like a portal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But it's funny, I'm being to feel it again. I don't know how or why, and can't explain it, but its comforting. I feel guided and protected almost. I don't have a solid partnership or a grounded home, but I do feel all this fertility.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I lose myself a bit and ask what I am doing with the Wish Book.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But today I found an article written over a year ago in India and it was like, to hear someone else's perspective, I remembered why I was doing it. And it's about every interaction, every person I get to talk with and see them share their dreams! I remember, and maybe its the journey and less the outcome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/1629741/report-the-wish-collector</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">its sort of crazy the amount of people I've gotten to meet and work with.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am so grateful to this beautiful strange unfolding dream and life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wishes change everyday, and every day is such a mystery, but every day is a gift.</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-12884102888059827552013-08-22T21:02:00.002-07:002013-08-22T21:02:49.758-07:00Returning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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good old bobby.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm on a rooftop where it is cold, the sun has set and I am alone.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been awhile since I have been alone and it feels nice. I needed to do this for myself, leave a small and beautiful community that was created in Tulum near the ocean. I gave the last days my full attention because I knew it was all I had. The present, i thought to myself in the water, on the sand, smiling at my new friend Ines's face- ENJOY this, soon it will be gone.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so I left Tulum, jumped on my bus, held a sleeping child on my lap, and relived all of the strange magic the world had thrown at me the week before.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Returning to Chiapas this morning with help and a quiet hostel all to my self...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is what I wrote earlier today...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><b>whenever you think things can't get any better, they do.</b></span><br />
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<b>I'm on a bus headed back to Chiapas, I left more people I fell in love with, and so the cycle goes.</b></div>
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<b>You love, you hold on, you let go, you find more.</b></div>
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<b>People leave the bus now, a really beautiful large family, two girls with bangs and bright faces.</b></div>
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<b>A woman sat next to me with her child, he would slowly fall into my lap and she would try to pull him back over apologizing, I would tell her "no te precepts" ( don't worry). I don't think she realized what medicine it was for me. Theres nothing i love more than holding a child in my arms. </b></div>
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<b>In the morning when he woke he would look over and smile a shy smile at me.</b></div>
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<b>I interviewed an 11 year old on the street yesterday for the Wish Book, she told me she wished to be a doctora, because she liked to cure and help people.</b></div>
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<b>I loved her beautiful and simple drawing of it.</b></div>
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<b>My lips are sore. We spent the full moon in a place called Mahaual. It was one of the strangest and most bizarre- challenging and beautiful trips I have ever taken.</b></div>
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<b>We kayaked out to the middle of the mediterranean and stayed there for hours while Carlos fished, my lips burnt from the sun. It was me, a beautiful french Charlotte, an amazing Argentinian Facu and the sweetest American/Guatemalan Jose.</b></div>
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<b>The moon came out, llena luna. Full moon, large and beautiful. Our room was in the clouds in the sky and we could see the water where the moon reflected the most beautiful light on to it, just dancing.</b></div>
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<b>I gave away a tarot deck before I left. I met this amazing guy named Coleman who had become a brother, silly and real, a Tennesse boy with the sweetest heart. I told him I had a vision of myself throwing away the cards and he said I think you should follow that.</b></div>
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<b>I don't want to try to figure out the future any more. I like the cards as a tool, to help others, and sometimes even myself at times but he was really dead on when he said he thinks it makes me think too much about the questions and the answers. My virgo nature loves to over analyze.</b></div>
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<b>They felt really good to let go of.</b></div>
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<b>My friend Hadas from Israel was really happy to receive them.</b></div>
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<b>She had told me one night, "whenever something bad happens, something good happens after."</b></div>
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<b>I full heartedly believe that. Even leaving yesterday, everything about it was so smooth and so right, and still really hard.</b></div>
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<b>Love wants to keep you places, but when i was drawing with Facu in the sky one day he gave me a word;</b></div>
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<b>Esperanza.</b></div>
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<b>Which is basically faith and trust.</b></div>
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<b>I trust and have faith that wherever i am walking into next is where I am meant to.</b></div>
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<b>The last day was spent on the beach with my new family and community, speaking french, spanish and learning some german and then swimming in the water. My friend told me a story in spanish and I would write it down. It was about a boy who lived in the clouds with a heart of water. He lived off of other peoples day dreams and thoughts.</b></div>
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<b>Talkin with Hadas the first night she told me, " I wasn't happy, but I think it was meant to be this way."</b></div>
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<b>She was talking about her time in the army in Israel. But she told me how it lead her into drawing and art, which is her passion now. She travels the world and at many places she stays for free and creates beautiful murals. She used my watercolors and fell in love with this new medium.</b></div>
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<b>One night we all sat around making art, music was playing, Facu was making a large puppet and I was discussing dreams and wishes with two girls from Spain.</b></div>
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<b>They were so kind, I told them I just wanted to listen to my "voz interiore" (inner voice) and trust myself. Sometimes I feel I don't have "confianza" that self trust.</b></div>
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<b>She told me, but look at you- here you are "viaje sola" traveling solo, you do have trust in yourself.</b></div>
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<b>"you are here, and maybe you feel you should be here"- and put her hand Way up high.</b></div>
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<b>I smiled and was grateful for her reflection. How often do we pat ourselves on the back for realizing our dreams and where we are at, instead of thinking, how could i be doing this better?</b></div>
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<b>SELF LOVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE.</b></div>
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<b>We are all works in progress but self love is serious important medicine I learn more and more about this everyday.</b></div>
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<b>Whenever i lose my light I find it in another and it gets reflected and grows again, I love that about people.</b></div>
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<b>The way we are continually learning from each other.</b></div>
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<b>I am blessed.</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jfYxK__z7hgbvoY4FfnCDeZpSGnJ_nvpJIGgOzS6F2eBq2PDOof-BZxi_4_Q8iiHMurZWsDSSIwuUgH1FYd_dmJN6U4oqUsgQAfjM7sNXblwm9-CE-B05VWt5k2DxrQtZh0sn-WM_Og-/s1600/you-are-perfect.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jfYxK__z7hgbvoY4FfnCDeZpSGnJ_nvpJIGgOzS6F2eBq2PDOof-BZxi_4_Q8iiHMurZWsDSSIwuUgH1FYd_dmJN6U4oqUsgQAfjM7sNXblwm9-CE-B05VWt5k2DxrQtZh0sn-WM_Og-/s640/you-are-perfect.JPG" width="640" /></b></a></div>
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<b>Soon I will arrive in Chiapas, I hope to spend the day editing, I've collected so much and have been doing so much living that I haven't really set aside time to edit it together. Another reason I left last night, needed to create a bit of balance and giving to my projects so I can share all the strange magic before I slip into more of it. :)</b></div>
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<b>I think I will head back to the community next to the river in Chiapas and then we will see.</b></div>
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<b>alright heart, keep up the openness, mind keep out the fear, and soul keep up the shinning.</b></div>
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<b>i heard this quote in guatemala, "you feel most alive when you forget that you are alive."</b></div>
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<b>And now a quesadilla dinner with new friends from Switzerland.</b></div>
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<b>Gratitude.</b></div>
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<b>i wish everyone would give themselves what they want, and not rationalize why they don't deserve it.</b></div>
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<b>All that you want is yours.</b></div>
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<b>and all you have you want.</b></div>
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<b>if not, accept, change, transform, adapt, create; Principles of Alchemy.</b></div>
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<b>mmmmm Tracy Chapman is playing, and it feels so good to hear. I love what music can do.</b></div>
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<b>night night</b></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-51187637628121055312013-08-10T08:03:00.001-07:002013-08-10T08:03:44.985-07:00little moments<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I found this image as part of an animated gif on Tumblr and loved it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's 2 am and i can't quite sleep, even though the lights are off I feel everyone sleeping in this room is a little restless. Maybe it's something to do with the moon. Its a crescent now, my favorite. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How do you open your throat chakra more? I asked Vanessa and Austin on the beach tonight. They said chanting, singing, om-ing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wonder what else though.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sang for Vanessa while we laid with our backs in the sand with the sound of rolling waves and stars appearing in the sky.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We tried to find Orion's belt and Austin finally pointed it out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had a dinner in all spanish with some beautiful Argentinians and a girl from Germany.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Was incredible how much I could understood. Religion was brought up, everyone sort of agreed that they weren't religious but had faith in something. Faith and love, this girl was so beautiful. She runs around the hostel and hugs her dog all night, every time she talks to her boyfriend she says "Mi Amor". My love. And they both have the most incredible smiles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've been asking people what their favorite part of the day is, my sister told me today that it was a baby laughing at his dad, she said she was so surprised to see it have a personality. I told her mine was swimming in the ocean pretending I was a dolpin.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ha, anything to revert back to childhood, or the natural state of innocence rather. I'd come up for air and look over the water and see the crescent moon and venus in the sky. My two friends sitting on the beach. I thought, how perfect and would float on my back until water would swish over my face.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Simple joys.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I now call in moreee and moree joy into my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I interviewed the most amazing group of kids today. They were so open, they came straight up to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For them, the most important things in their lives were</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"my parents"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"my family"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"my friends"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"i don't know"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ha, always one person in the group whose too shy to know, or maybe doesn't think in terms of favorites. Sometimes I get kids who also get it, like "what nonsense is this question?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of the 8 yr olds asked me if I spoke french and began speaking to me in french. She spoke french, spanish, english and portuguese, was from Mexico.It was pretty wild. Down to earth open eyed beauty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Argentineans invited me for dinner tonight in the hostel. Empanadas, and coca-cola.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Cheese, olives, tomatoes, spinach and sugar never tasted so good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Food, with good people, no matter what, can just taste so good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Soda is something I am getting used to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's been really nice to see my friend Austin, he's teaching me what meditation is again. The way he naturally falls in and out of it during his day. His humor, kindness, and incredible chocolate. I'm grateful to his girlfriend and his love with her, it inspires me. Happy silly dolphins.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I walked a lot today, I was tired and overwhelmed in this heat. I moved into something that grounds me, talking to a friend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I skyped my friend Nina and it was so good to talk to her, Amazing what friendship can do , I interviewed a woman once and she said talking with a friend is love, I totally agree now on a new level.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She's getting married in over 6 mths in Chile and I can't really believe it. I mean I can but it's like I remember her 16 yr old self taking drawing classes with me and now to see her at 25 planning a wedding is beautiful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hows your health? What's your body saying to you?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The body is always talking. This guy told me today his wish was for health, because he said thats the first thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And it really is, I am grateful for my health, my heart and that I can walk, talk, sing and dance. Some people can't! Gratitudeeee.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8bEiZ_xr9E4vHaIkhasgPu8OfKkngVSxSdFigca_riZrbQiEWYeDcMj-6AO9yGlenBEKJlLMbDB29hOIp16JXcqHcyp8IthBG-1WUNRL6AQVEdpt4ebc9Eg_yxmumRpMSm9cSISCwMe7t/s1600/feather.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8bEiZ_xr9E4vHaIkhasgPu8OfKkngVSxSdFigca_riZrbQiEWYeDcMj-6AO9yGlenBEKJlLMbDB29hOIp16JXcqHcyp8IthBG-1WUNRL6AQVEdpt4ebc9Eg_yxmumRpMSm9cSISCwMe7t/s640/feather.JPG" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have some new visions and things cooking in my pot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's exciting and intimidating, but mainly exciting and beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Become your dream, become your dream, be the thing you want to be until you Are that thing. Just do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You got it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">:)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ok night night, creative surge outletted and time for sleep. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Waking to intense dreams of children and flying cars.</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-45449818148684938542013-08-05T09:31:00.000-07:002013-08-05T09:31:37.782-07:00New Beginnings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there are these moments, where i just want to bottle life up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the beauty and love of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the magic, the unpredictability.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I fell asleep on the lake a few nights ago with my italian family.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I looked around and asked Otto, "should we move off the dock so we don't get cold?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He nodded, i put my head down and he began stroking my hair, I will never forget how good that felt or the beauty of the simple gestures. It was so soothing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I began traveling with this amazing italian brother and sister.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew these two for only a week but it definitely felt like life times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Strange how that can happen. I had never fallen so in love with siblings like this before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everything about how they were together and how they were independently.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Otto shared the same birthday as me and every time I looked at him I felt something that would make me smile.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lea was this fire-y beauty who would make friends anywhere we'd go. Fearless and trusting of the world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was this theme of acceptance and humor in everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We hitch-hiked across Mexico. Snuck in and enjoyed the ruins, we're basically adopted by a family traveling from Vera Cruz and would eat all sorts of delicious food together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I miss them already, but also felt it was time for me to go to Puerto Morelos, I will see them before they go, I have to.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I need those hugs and that warmth one more time on this trip.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So It's been about a week and a half since I left the little home I lived in in San Cristobal Mexico.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So much has happened.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been traveling with this sweet Brit whose always on the guitar, nice to have continual back ground music to life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My skin is warm today from the sun's kiss yesterday. A soft pink/red all over.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I swam in the ocean to cleanse away all the fears or doubts that the mind had felt from leaving people I got so close too- separation can be hard!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But i read today in the dao, "you can't lose what you do not grasp."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While traveling expectations can rise and fall, nostalgia can come up, fear, all sorts of things, its really this dance of continually plunging into the unknown and surrendering. And then more magic and blessings ensue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After San Cristobal and before hitch-hiking we headed to this "Shaman community" about an hour away.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We arrived to this little nature haven next to a stream and I immediately fell in love with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sylvain, the women who runs it showed me a dorm where the "two italians" we're staying.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Little did I know how strong of a connection it would be, but my intuition told me to stay there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone there was from all over Mexico and other places a bit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone would eat together and help out with things around the land.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first night we watched a movie about the Mayans.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we hiked through the hills and then swam in the stream.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every person there carried something with them that was unique and open and beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I immediately bonded with Lea and her brother Otto.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I loved the way they we're with each other, funny, understanding and loving.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My second night there I got to do a Temazcal (sweat lodge) with a family and Marzos, Sylvain's partner. It was so powerful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had been wanting to do one so badly and the it just appeared.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Marzos told me the ceremony was full but for some reason I didn't believe it, I just saw myself there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went and meditated next to the alter, in the sun, my desire to be in it was strong but with time I let go of it, I realized that no matter what, whether I could join or not, it would be perfect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was only then, when my desire was gone, did Marzos come up and tell me I was going to be a part of the ceremony.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me and the family that was going in smiled and laughed, they knew how badly I wanted to sing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We saged, did a prayer around the alter and entered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The heat was so nice, I love the way you can just feel it engulf you, like actual flames burning what you don't need.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After Marzos used his shell flute and sang he asked me if I had a song.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A sang a ceremony song in english loud and echoing, it felt so good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There were 4 different times to open the doors to let cool air in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each time was different and at one point we all began massaging each other's toe's.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ceremony ended with this prayer a young girl did for me over my heart, to create more space in my heart, releasing the old. Her and everyone's words echoed the room in Spanish, it was sooo incredible and we all howled at the end like wolves and laughed and smiled.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After we got out we jumped in the stream as the last light of the day was leaving.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everything was sort of pastel colored.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So much gratitude.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is what happens when I look at the stars, I look and see them smiling and think- "thank you- even in moments of doubt - thank you."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's all aligned.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I arrived in Puerto Morelos two days ago, to this sweet man's house with Robin and to a friend who I had done ceremony with in December.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She is creating a healing center here in the most magical place I have ever seen, wood and art and white and nature. I don't know how she found it but it's a gift to manifest her dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I interviewed her for the Wish Book and drew her. It was inspiring to see someone so actively pursuing and doing what they believed in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Following the heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Either today or tomorrow I get to see one of the most magical friends in my life from NY. My little chocolate maker, yogi Austin from NY.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It will be so nice to see someone from the states who I love so much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I spoke to a friend Camilla today and we picked words for each other, I gave her "sillyness" and she gave me faith and said;</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #3e454c; line-height: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">see what you want/are headed towards like a clear blue light/tunnel</span></span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #3e454c; line-height: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and follow it!</span></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #3e454c; line-height: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">you will get there"</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was so nice to hear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then she gave me this happy song:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II9SL6xPBJU</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">mmmmmm, happpyyyyy day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">More magic to ensue, enjoy and love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New moon in Leo tomorrow! Time to shine. :)</span><br />
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-65560577466922137322013-07-26T15:17:00.000-07:002013-07-26T15:17:17.087-07:00Evolution<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sitting in the courtyard of the home I've been living in for the past week and a half.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sun is out, the walls are orange, and pots with flowers are in each corner of the open area.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Matias, my friends 18 year old son, is pulling beautifully smelling wood chips out of wood he has while listening to the Garden State soundtrack.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's funny to listen to this soundtrack I remember from high school, 7 years ago, trying to recollect my 18 year old self.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The older I get, sometimes the younger I feel. Old and young.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The skies are so clear today.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just finished a mango I bought from a street vendor for 5 pesos and I'm lounging in this bright yellow chair.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everything sort of feels like its standing still.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mali just got home and gave me ice cream she made from berries and yogurt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My tummy is happy and full.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life is such a curious ever changing evolution. And yet, the clouds are always the same. They come and they go, they are white or they are grey. I am me , you are you, I am you, you are me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">En la' kesh. This phrase I really learned and started using this past winter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am another you.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJKngGsyvtvTtfuAPZ_iohvU4_27m9LgXVOPXkUn23ztoj5zaP1O7AHKtodVSYhkZBUrJ4N2liO4UfpzFHT29_vFOZM5DlObvrYVEjjl6TJP4GwG52qaNfcmOOLqCMdQ61A_rYvNSx8TuE/s1600/light.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJKngGsyvtvTtfuAPZ_iohvU4_27m9LgXVOPXkUn23ztoj5zaP1O7AHKtodVSYhkZBUrJ4N2liO4UfpzFHT29_vFOZM5DlObvrYVEjjl6TJP4GwG52qaNfcmOOLqCMdQ61A_rYvNSx8TuE/s400/light.JPG" width="266" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">little ceremony we had last night for the end of the mayan year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i found this on my friends blog and really liked it:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbBm1mFohzSj7cfEYjscXd_a_SBczlr4lxO2LpxugeGMh8sP4PG46CGsYOqmYFO9KovdEAWgLuAERYtkw7a2nTkHSz5rydmrkC5sgzUtGUiTb5vTInfFoxprXkRglUkbaDnafH6LXqiYXd/s1600/tumblr_m6ekxcJygV1qzofaho1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbBm1mFohzSj7cfEYjscXd_a_SBczlr4lxO2LpxugeGMh8sP4PG46CGsYOqmYFO9KovdEAWgLuAERYtkw7a2nTkHSz5rydmrkC5sgzUtGUiTb5vTInfFoxprXkRglUkbaDnafH6LXqiYXd/s640/tumblr_m6ekxcJygV1qzofaho1_500.jpg" width="540" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Confidence. I'll take a scoop of that right now. Leaving a place I've gotten comfortable in is hard, and yet I do it continually, and I have learned that every little leap of faith and risk I take is generally rewarded or leads me to somewhere beautiful, even in spite of challenge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes you gotta work for it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and this Ram Dass image I love:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOYF78GXXM0En1b4sJmWOWSl6TU0jP8pP-1Dxoqqu2ntp6uji6OoHd4P1R-k5WorXyFw7trFJqUZ-1r6B4ieJ-dir7eEYkhki30MRPplYBu-Xq8jTTwgvzAr72iTGAAG01o9xwyqLAeZWg/s1600/29-b52cec8503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="620" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOYF78GXXM0En1b4sJmWOWSl6TU0jP8pP-1Dxoqqu2ntp6uji6OoHd4P1R-k5WorXyFw7trFJqUZ-1r6B4ieJ-dir7eEYkhki30MRPplYBu-Xq8jTTwgvzAr72iTGAAG01o9xwyqLAeZWg/s640/29-b52cec8503.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember my friend's Nani in India told me once, that every person we come in contact with, that we even brush on the shoulders with, we are meant to. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What an interesting and beautiful idea. I think of so many people who have touched my life and left such echoes on it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It can almost be overwhelming to think, that everything is already planned, and yet at the same time we have so much freedom. It's like am I writing the book, or is it writing me?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkzNmvi4aP-5FEGLs0RHrGI0jPQTuj32XgM9D2duQXzHkv_AeGsIkCAWs31idMJwb8b2KJNvm58IZmnrBeODBgKznUXv4tW7sOsblhY2zyssBaLCl8CmX5LPaeqXGKeolnsRs00RNfcWRn/s1600/hiding+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkzNmvi4aP-5FEGLs0RHrGI0jPQTuj32XgM9D2duQXzHkv_AeGsIkCAWs31idMJwb8b2KJNvm58IZmnrBeODBgKznUXv4tW7sOsblhY2zyssBaLCl8CmX5LPaeqXGKeolnsRs00RNfcWRn/s640/hiding+out.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
mysteryyyyyy.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and then with all these questions I look at the sky and think what does it even matter?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ha.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I worked with this healer earlier this year who was all about laughter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked him why people got so worried about things while I was bursting out laughing, he said</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"because they're just loaded with too much stuff!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I laughed for about 20 minutes straight. And even now I think of one of my best friend's tattoo's that says NOMA. Nothing Matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its like it all matters, we have to be aware, and yet we also have to continually let go, because it doesn't matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You are what you think you are." C. S. Lewis.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9QG2vwo64QX0cDAnA9PJOexWkKYnwAneLPb4ihLZ-QyfoIV24P3lyJNRPv12tgjFyHo2vCmJ9gRxiqG3wGu1wCppsGift2rm4BgsWT7YXTUTrWY39e-Hr8MpBqWgFCQOs-ucU7ve-f7aN/s1600/amy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9QG2vwo64QX0cDAnA9PJOexWkKYnwAneLPb4ihLZ-QyfoIV24P3lyJNRPv12tgjFyHo2vCmJ9gRxiqG3wGu1wCppsGift2rm4BgsWT7YXTUTrWY39e-Hr8MpBqWgFCQOs-ucU7ve-f7aN/s640/amy.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3oPQlHozFN3YUsguKAgzLTQnz04gAqqRQYkck-mJytDzVX44MhVHM48_4yfzZ_LyDyJnmGu_J8VAo-8pJBM60b9AnRYuuBTxGvLkk-X8kZ4EAsd7BOArL5Vd7VaSzutkGCngkxx50z5A/s1600/yaaa.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3oPQlHozFN3YUsguKAgzLTQnz04gAqqRQYkck-mJytDzVX44MhVHM48_4yfzZ_LyDyJnmGu_J8VAo-8pJBM60b9AnRYuuBTxGvLkk-X8kZ4EAsd7BOArL5Vd7VaSzutkGCngkxx50z5A/s640/yaaa.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7sLcDQZWcwJKVQZIKz-tTSUBoP6VSGDEUsurqz502oQVMILRBX8CTklb70d7e9Skll8pA9SAouOV2h-7pH5NtG86czsYN7kTJlLkPsT1N7S8T7oC8pOa1TuhzuUM4zPA87pkkuI0b1LWF/s1600/beauty.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7sLcDQZWcwJKVQZIKz-tTSUBoP6VSGDEUsurqz502oQVMILRBX8CTklb70d7e9Skll8pA9SAouOV2h-7pH5NtG86czsYN7kTJlLkPsT1N7S8T7oC8pOa1TuhzuUM4zPA87pkkuI0b1LWF/s640/beauty.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpCxc3ZuWYXbkAxjeZti6IQjG4bedUMLW_5dc9_WOBC9a0qxKwTtYfSWYKCIi7f72HVNNeK_CHfj1eJ5cRR7S6cQXwAHXykJhXKrmcfKFSiCZCBMy_FoVuInbHWQjYAfd8_qavokeRoQG3/s1600/laughter.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpCxc3ZuWYXbkAxjeZti6IQjG4bedUMLW_5dc9_WOBC9a0qxKwTtYfSWYKCIi7f72HVNNeK_CHfj1eJ5cRR7S6cQXwAHXykJhXKrmcfKFSiCZCBMy_FoVuInbHWQjYAfd8_qavokeRoQG3/s640/laughter.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and now to listen to this little jingle....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9gK2fOq4MY</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">enjoy your life</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">its yours for the living.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i found this image from over a year ago that I took in NY. i still love it.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3AmHknNSHz9IZf5RW-CQjo5ZcwldFr8_KnIc1tW0p96WuKEKj_d7ei1SMKhGSukLbJC25SObFejOBIAVW4rbi0Au_FCO7k3eU_bT6TaDm8e1TQRfg96V1DcOyuC1f0MdF8Lyg3AKtacM/s1600/dream.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3AmHknNSHz9IZf5RW-CQjo5ZcwldFr8_KnIc1tW0p96WuKEKj_d7ei1SMKhGSukLbJC25SObFejOBIAVW4rbi0Au_FCO7k3eU_bT6TaDm8e1TQRfg96V1DcOyuC1f0MdF8Lyg3AKtacM/s400/dream.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-9106757538814294392013-07-15T20:05:00.002-07:002013-07-15T21:39:30.465-07:00Guatemala to Mexico<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's my last night in Antigua, Guatemala. In the morning I head to Mexico.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not really sure how to explain the strange love affair I had with this city.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The way I fell in love with the sky and the clouds on the mountains and volcanoes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The two brothers who run the hostel I stay at, the way one of them says over and over "Mucho gusto Bird, Mucho Gusto"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The cats and the bunny who hops around the place</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The loud streets even, the bumpy stones all over them, the way you can really feel yourself walk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The food in the market.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The food in the morning, either pancakes or egg sandwiches, I never knew I liked either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tamar, the woman I lived with. The way she would decorate herself and others, putting feather headbands on everyone, encouraging all of us to see our own beauty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The earth lodge, a little haven in the hills that saved me one night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lunch with an unexpected soul sister from Alburqurque.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The smiles and love of the kids I met.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All the unexpected souls I met and interviewed, the one's who shared bits and pieces of themselves with me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One's who reflected things I knew and didn't know where there in my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The colors, and the smiles of people on the street.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some love affairs are brief, it feels I've been here for a strangely long lapse of time and yet at the same time it feels I am moving so quickly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I trust, I accept, to fall in love with a place and the people, but also know there is more to explore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I went to this weaving workshop in a town next to here, I couldn't decide if I should head to Xela or just head to Mexico, but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Raul, I skyped a friend and he told me, "don't make the decision, let the decision make you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was getting late and if I wanted to head to Xela I needed to leave soon, some girls said they were going to a weaving workshop and I said I want to go, and did. Left Raul a note to book my shuttle for the morning and left, the decision became simple.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was nice to see all these beautiful patterns this woman made, she talked about the ceremonial aspects of it and then we watched this beautiful little girl show us how it was done. It was amazing to see her tiny hands and arms work the large object that contained the weaving.</span></div>
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I've received so many unexpected gifts.</div>
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I want to write more about the three weeks I've spent here and I'm just not sure how to.</div>
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It's been a wonderful blessing to rest, create and be in. To be inspired, to learn and to grow and work on the Wish Book in. To experience that wish come to fruition and see all the angels who supported.</div>
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I call in more magic for Mexico, ask that I am lead, guided, protected and that I may find beautiful communities to document, share and create in.</div>
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More wishes to collect and more videos to make that inspire.</div>
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May I be a tool.</div>
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May everyone love their dreams.</div>
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May you know how special you are.</div>
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May you paint and feel everything with your whole heart.</div>
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Remember what you have is now, and the future is your place to plant your own seeds to grow.</div>
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It's all blank canvas.</div>
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I'm so grateful to all the support in my life on this journey.</div>
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L'chaim.</div>
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Here's to life and all of it's surprises.<br />
the message i received from this book in the market the other day:<br />
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sometimes i don't even understand the forces, but i just keep hearing the same thing;<br />
to just<br />
Show Up.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQONlehrqNTlrwbpu57H0YRieUlxCSs_7mNHVFYCd06aadu4LIQsjiFRPODMFn-hCprw7IF7Z4WT0tRwsdCPo5sl6RjdW-mwxthuvKoxboB9-E1zQIUb3ZvEYgFSuSZ7qCTcP0fspVlb5/s1600/IMG_1319.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQONlehrqNTlrwbpu57H0YRieUlxCSs_7mNHVFYCd06aadu4LIQsjiFRPODMFn-hCprw7IF7Z4WT0tRwsdCPo5sl6RjdW-mwxthuvKoxboB9-E1zQIUb3ZvEYgFSuSZ7qCTcP0fspVlb5/s640/IMG_1319.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-36427188833472876832013-07-09T10:19:00.003-07:002013-07-09T10:19:51.576-07:00openness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC1HlT0fxIeGbL33bQngTkASnubWbAuS4VdkrdCo2oR0fqZESARuafjiviE25PXzSHNQKv6H-5iCItVP4hZM05U1s1C0sjmfq3j0jk26cF8iGxL-4TdchZdXoJ6spD0RmHHnkUSwfb5XdA/s1600/yesss.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC1HlT0fxIeGbL33bQngTkASnubWbAuS4VdkrdCo2oR0fqZESARuafjiviE25PXzSHNQKv6H-5iCItVP4hZM05U1s1C0sjmfq3j0jk26cF8iGxL-4TdchZdXoJ6spD0RmHHnkUSwfb5XdA/s640/yesss.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44ksIwL1Rg3bvrLSfV_dU4inscOaoK6mHVRiuL5yngS6fmScnUO81XLHZYxz6Y1MwdJBradJGPmOl3snLSYhyphenhyphenvt-ymzHdN9XVqtnUFVH3Wzv6aRIjP529F7qlo8jfGyyWHj4rXd6GHTtO/s1600/new-beginnings.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="438" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44ksIwL1Rg3bvrLSfV_dU4inscOaoK6mHVRiuL5yngS6fmScnUO81XLHZYxz6Y1MwdJBradJGPmOl3snLSYhyphenhyphenvt-ymzHdN9XVqtnUFVH3Wzv6aRIjP529F7qlo8jfGyyWHj4rXd6GHTtO/s640/new-beginnings.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">this morning I am listening to this:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">http://soundcloud.com/ivymeadows/sagitari</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">This lulling dream music over and over.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">It's one of those creations in life that just makes me feel so so much.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I love that humans have the capacity to create such beauty through art and music, it blows my mind.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Lately I have been coming in contact with so many beautiful souls here, I didn't expect to stay in Antigua this long, but I also didn't feel any rush to move on.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">It was sort of just like, yes, this is where you are going to stay for a bit.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I've been thinking about the echoes we leave, the ripples on lives. The small things that people can say or do that can stick with you for so long. The big things, the way everything we experience depends on our perception of them and how everything has an effect thats greater then zero. How we change those perceptions, how we view ourselves, our relationships, our lives is all in our hands really. I think perception is really the one and only factor we can control.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Openness.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">That is my word of the day, openness to whatever it is that comes.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Allowing all the questions to exist, all the fears but not getting stuck in them.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">They are just there.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">What does it mean to live your life entirely in your heart?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">i read this quote the other day " trust your heart above all else and never worry about consequences."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">i think the main thing I am learning continually is we never know whats right for the other guy, only what is right for us, and if we can drop all of the stories or voices that aren't ours in our hearts or heads we can move more freely, but its about changing conditioning. Unlearning, forgiveness and serious acceptance of the self and encouragement. We have to be our own best friends.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeSkG4vt0375icoEfSgnubGU0ShyphenhyphenBtPRBNXfZm2Irgf1JR1aSCUNtdKdhfSLOgTZ7uQWgtGA81kUKZ64GyxlFoMJezUQdD5sqxO43UGT-mohQbUBomhkPZZ0GrR7GtT8JsObF3bfmxCvkz/s1600/treefriends.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeSkG4vt0375icoEfSgnubGU0ShyphenhyphenBtPRBNXfZm2Irgf1JR1aSCUNtdKdhfSLOgTZ7uQWgtGA81kUKZ64GyxlFoMJezUQdD5sqxO43UGT-mohQbUBomhkPZZ0GrR7GtT8JsObF3bfmxCvkz/s640/treefriends.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">This video was taken a few days ago here, I was really inspired by this girl who had a tatto on her foot she got with her best friend who had passed recently.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHMFmHQVd1M&feature=youtu.be</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I dont think any of us can actually avoid heartache, we can only figure out how to deal with it. How to ask for support, how to get the lesson from it, how to love ourselves more deeply and forgive everything.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">And the next thing is showing up, man really showing up fully when your heart asks you too.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I think thats a most recent wish of mine, to show up fully with how I feel and not run away from my own truths. Even if they don't make sense to me, I dont think love or life can always be rationally understood. There is a freedom in showing up, regardless of the outcomes.</span><br />
<br /><br /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I am still collecting wishes and documenting, I really want to head to Mexico next, because I hear there is amazing Magic in Oaxaca that I really want to document. I feel this pull there and I want to see what ripples can be found, how I can also be an instrument in some way and work with people and kids.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">here is some magic from my journal, wishes and such;</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNdgAuBTWBBOD2hbasaMdiU4pxdMDE810L25BAF51t0ZfczTTbAzPxqzT-PETZNuejHrspwyW6dm0yqqcEVJFevSzcz9aydWxMBFVs1fKOxjhrVubrkenkawq12cWRYJby-TFDUAhHXnm/s1600/into-the+abyss.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNdgAuBTWBBOD2hbasaMdiU4pxdMDE810L25BAF51t0ZfczTTbAzPxqzT-PETZNuejHrspwyW6dm0yqqcEVJFevSzcz9aydWxMBFVs1fKOxjhrVubrkenkawq12cWRYJby-TFDUAhHXnm/s640/into-the+abyss.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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here are some more vidoes here,</div>
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last few days to raise funds :)</div>
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http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/courtneybird/the-wish-book-central-america</div>
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every little bit counts </div>
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i loveeee you</div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-23478151742386240882013-04-15T18:06:00.001-07:002013-04-15T18:06:41.912-07:00breaking open<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
the other day i heard that we can get insight into ourself when we experience misery or heartache.<br />
It's like the heart breaks open and we are able to go into it.<br />
<br />
today i feel my heart breaking a lot, ive decided not to turn it off, i think the only way out is through as they say.<br />
so through i go.<br />
into the deepest parts of my heart.<br />
healing is a process, and all i can think about, is how did i get to this point?<br />
if i create my own reality, how and why is what I keep asking?<br />
<br />
i think of dark and light.<br />
i think of trust.<br />
i think of losing everything to gain anything.<br />
i think the darkest hour always comes before the dawn.<br />
i think all is in divine order even when i cannot see it.<br />
<br />
i think of these faces as blessings<br />
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:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWdhnCHdM-tTZft2G8Ag7U9EqiV0ni17PohH4dv9IPVK-kSYbKNTgFaYZTcU_obmkc5xu2hnTRbXdZtv6uhryL7jwx-zXobnH1DOrR93HSyWhnZmrUlZWjGY991czYzNdmb7lMEnEEIwTV/s1600/IMG_8694.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWdhnCHdM-tTZft2G8Ag7U9EqiV0ni17PohH4dv9IPVK-kSYbKNTgFaYZTcU_obmkc5xu2hnTRbXdZtv6uhryL7jwx-zXobnH1DOrR93HSyWhnZmrUlZWjGY991czYzNdmb7lMEnEEIwTV/s640/IMG_8694.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">
this man told me about how everything that happens good or bad is from above, so be happy :)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXAFUeftkULkzyZKRnFIEEr80KUTNU8f-w080Zqxzdc_oELMkYjyKdPox-xUzMhxmCU06S_UTeh-M7DugaOVOhMOUeimQgsjG-4Z11V5s0Lp1MVP7VibEDQYl3iJFdOSc6SfgJRCYtnxUM/s1600/IMG_8722.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXAFUeftkULkzyZKRnFIEEr80KUTNU8f-w080Zqxzdc_oELMkYjyKdPox-xUzMhxmCU06S_UTeh-M7DugaOVOhMOUeimQgsjG-4Z11V5s0Lp1MVP7VibEDQYl3iJFdOSc6SfgJRCYtnxUM/s640/IMG_8722.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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i listen to this music:</div>
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http://soundcloud.com/ivymeadows</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4d3PGNNxoG1Om4VwcIrDsbxjhZM9cjTIqMAF11UjMLahyphenhyphent01oNYyUfm-cGji5DLQ_7-NRUr3r1Ap4OdhR1QKzpONOPqJc_y85usm3qvW7yqchynTFYbwcahyphenhyphenazsxf0q9GsQRL9Zy-zTzv/s1600/IMG_7666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4d3PGNNxoG1Om4VwcIrDsbxjhZM9cjTIqMAF11UjMLahyphenhyphent01oNYyUfm-cGji5DLQ_7-NRUr3r1Ap4OdhR1QKzpONOPqJc_y85usm3qvW7yqchynTFYbwcahyphenhyphenazsxf0q9GsQRL9Zy-zTzv/s640/IMG_7666.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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i will be moving again soon.</div>
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thank you california chapter.</div>
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I feel you coming to a close.</div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-48246148344291024082013-03-27T23:52:00.000-07:002013-03-28T00:09:50.333-07:00show em what we hide<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Z7iYdSAmav9BMmJSfHI1CBGG0DoFL08p_tq3V34O9JiutV0SFm9iX0H8i2Gg5KTz7ej3tPhqKbUD6SUv4xgWM_MgDH3JSwPNBrSQbbvcqR1LxbzaWjdwBsPymUp0mfWltUnbMYZ3ITXK/s1600/url.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Z7iYdSAmav9BMmJSfHI1CBGG0DoFL08p_tq3V34O9JiutV0SFm9iX0H8i2Gg5KTz7ej3tPhqKbUD6SUv4xgWM_MgDH3JSwPNBrSQbbvcqR1LxbzaWjdwBsPymUp0mfWltUnbMYZ3ITXK/s320/url.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">show em what we hide</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
that line is coming from a song my friend just sent me from his new album.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
i am listening to music and writing next to a fire outside under the full moon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the fire goes out every so often and my dad puts more wood on, the crackles burst and as i move closer I wonder if any embers will jump out at me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcwzBob_ZWr6v4lL4jXwhN-I2QmhteBSzbztOWiCnHPptCpyOw4hgA5dePrtSP8ELptzy_sGWewZyWAfJx6bINFh06n3kmyYWadwzYGlInTzK9Ox4Qz9FnKiBhvOF6YdLDkWNlDmyeC-U/s1600/truth-is-beauty4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcwzBob_ZWr6v4lL4jXwhN-I2QmhteBSzbztOWiCnHPptCpyOw4hgA5dePrtSP8ELptzy_sGWewZyWAfJx6bINFh06n3kmyYWadwzYGlInTzK9Ox4Qz9FnKiBhvOF6YdLDkWNlDmyeC-U/s400/truth-is-beauty4.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
they don't though and i continue to look at the moon in the sky as she climbs a little higher each time i look up at her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She's such a perfect lamp in the sky and I recall the sunset just a few hours ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Foggy pastels and smeared blurs of murky light pinks, blues and yellows.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
so much has changed and yet nothing seems to have changed at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
As i drove home today blasting music to soothe my ears and heart, I felt this heaviness, this curiosity, am I in the same place I found myself a year ago?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">what patterns have been repeated, what forward momentum have i even made?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdRBJAMLdduZdZePIPJ1-FZMbhg0fU52jR12yob7IKUyoSotNYw05xBiqnjhOPAYd2qS44SIN5OmG71eMfF4qeyo6FTW_r8BPzLOjvoP9-7cLcZ9Js05Y52b1p3B__9OJIiNpOvd_l6Ib/s1600/window.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdRBJAMLdduZdZePIPJ1-FZMbhg0fU52jR12yob7IKUyoSotNYw05xBiqnjhOPAYd2qS44SIN5OmG71eMfF4qeyo6FTW_r8BPzLOjvoP9-7cLcZ9Js05Y52b1p3B__9OJIiNpOvd_l6Ib/s640/window.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
My dad leaves me to the fire and blows out candles in the dinning room, the smoke hangs heavy in the air swirling for a few moments, the fire out here is larger then before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
I remember the sweat lodge a few weeks ago, the large fire before we entered the womb, the way i was already sweating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
I got home and thought of my list of "twenty things that ground and center me" that I made after my last meeting with Debby.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought of number 4 or 5 "walking outside/in nature" so i jumped back in my car and took myself to the hill with a path that revealed the sunset around it. I'd have to run to make it around its large hump to see the horizon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I took the path and started running, I was crying before I even got there, so much had happened in a year and yet i felt the pain of all the loss and confusion that had come with it- even with all the beauty and magic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I ran and ran through the little dust path, a rabbit ran in front of me and I said "hello rabbit- you little good luck symbol".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I kept running and something told me to slow down, to still in my body.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As i finally turned a corner I found the sky a bright light pink on the horizon, the sun was covered with clouds but they made these beautiful edges of pink and gold around the shapes of them. One looked like a big blob of heart. I sat in the clearing and just pulled my legs into me. The ground was surprisingly soft and i found the largest ant/beetle I'd ever seen sitting next to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQyzvk4cvJrUuxm40vbxSsA4LRceAW6XduHgykEI1RRzn8PV3KApRpQ4AVFZtwd4I5aViOXNtbbg7k6Kx2x-DianD7DSaIlxHgWE2KpssDY_BLajCAV6UUBkP792KmvwasBhOhEAfqpCV/s1600/here-we-are.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="353" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQyzvk4cvJrUuxm40vbxSsA4LRceAW6XduHgykEI1RRzn8PV3KApRpQ4AVFZtwd4I5aViOXNtbbg7k6Kx2x-DianD7DSaIlxHgWE2KpssDY_BLajCAV6UUBkP792KmvwasBhOhEAfqpCV/s640/here-we-are.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRro_tEFxGGdGWOKOJHra4Vx4jQNYAD9z5iKXglVj7McZYYgf-JSm_PyytEimYHcZCw2CU84SteNazHmiSyJwDM014TVzo527FCqSoX57o-K0oMNFkYpxel9s96futtrTz34YNt6CvmD1/s1600/here-we-are-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRro_tEFxGGdGWOKOJHra4Vx4jQNYAD9z5iKXglVj7McZYYgf-JSm_PyytEimYHcZCw2CU84SteNazHmiSyJwDM014TVzo527FCqSoX57o-K0oMNFkYpxel9s96futtrTz34YNt6CvmD1/s640/here-we-are-2.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
I sat there for awhile and searched for a soul that I could connect to on that hill besides myself. I spoke to my brother for a few moments but could tell he was busy, at an aquarium with friends, I could imagine his light hearted self enjoying the jelly fish.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then I talked to a soul sister in Austin, she was preparing for a moon ceremony, she told me about her truths, what this new moon was revealing to her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I asked her about how she dealt with shadows, with the feelings that i felt were coming up for me, why I felt in the same place, with more of the same confusion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She told me to really look at it, but find that inner child, really reach out to it, regardless of anyone else involved not needing approval or justification from those sources either, but what does that child need and want. After all the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
The fire is burning out now, my dad forgot to turn off the fountain as I can hear water continually tumbling in the distance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
I unloaded some of my stuff in my old room, I went into this tiny room I have, full of old art and pieces of past chapters of my life. I found a small cardboard box from someone who was very close to me, a white rolled up paper in it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
the logs fall on the fire and the water is slowly stopping now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">everything slowing down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
the note said;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
"Sometimes life presents</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">us with situations similar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to a spiral on a snail shell,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">where from one perspective</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it may seem like we're</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">repeating ourselves, but</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if you look from further out</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you can see that things are</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">different, and that</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">g r o w t h h a s o c c u r r e d ."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
thank you beautiful note, coming back to me right when i need you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAHB_LOiFQdbZue8yRMbs81pbAy_6VUGokGgRA2pSrIFRQAbZj74rkBfVMpJX7iqPjO-1YVWkBjY0MLBbvY8GFMe7klPhQfi6b1Fbt9osbVyaYxzrY4ECiU7QMAGZTvUvjXJS9VoPhcf9R/s1600/_MG_8384.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAHB_LOiFQdbZue8yRMbs81pbAy_6VUGokGgRA2pSrIFRQAbZj74rkBfVMpJX7iqPjO-1YVWkBjY0MLBbvY8GFMe7klPhQfi6b1Fbt9osbVyaYxzrY4ECiU7QMAGZTvUvjXJS9VoPhcf9R/s400/_MG_8384.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(btw, any LA friends, I have been doing body therapy with this amazing woman out here, if you have any interest contact me, or contact her at debby@debbyjay.com)</span></div>
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in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578302457767921903.post-69494293575279773472013-03-09T16:55:00.000-08:002013-03-09T16:56:20.447-08:00Personal Space<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I met with Debby on Thursday after a surreal night. I was exhausted and overwhelmed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt into my body. I unloaded things that had accumulated there. She asked me what it would feel like to create space around me, to protect myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I told her I would have a lake around me. All this water. She said "like you're on an island."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I repeated over and over "this is my space, and your not allowed in it without my permission."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things can come in so quickly and unannounced sometimes. Sometimes I feel like an observer, a deer, who watches silently, unsure if they should move or stay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Debby wrote on a card for me a sort of mantra:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0dtHOXanTou_0PLfWaMqzhePPzuJN9nXuiiuyK0MGCIsoRiseSPc6K5EhFxPC2c66-VxXfYIFhLX3uPhR56ZK8Ii-Ix__sKRmFFiduh4PLktavVAK6CEM7JE_3_JowhvBfKzZryuTESOS/s1600/now.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0dtHOXanTou_0PLfWaMqzhePPzuJN9nXuiiuyK0MGCIsoRiseSPc6K5EhFxPC2c66-VxXfYIFhLX3uPhR56ZK8Ii-Ix__sKRmFFiduh4PLktavVAK6CEM7JE_3_JowhvBfKzZryuTESOS/s400/now.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">truth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We always have the choice to stay or go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm really beginning to work on making these choices for myself, remembering the idea of allowing it to be for the highest good of all, but that I am included in that most importantly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have the choice to do what serves me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The week before that I had met with her in New York over skype.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New York was a little slice of joy, bliss and creativity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That place always is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over our skype meeting she had me do different exercises where I observed things in the room, observing how they affected me, on whether or not I liked them or agreed with them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead of allowing them to draw me in energetically, I'd let them come to me and just observe the effect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A good thing to use in other situations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Practice, practice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt my body held by the chair that was carrying me. She asked me to feel it on my back. To feel its support, it was like a giant hand holding me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I flew the other night in my dream, I became lucid and decided I wanted to fly. Was so liberating in a way. I could only not fly anymore when I came back down and tried to take people or things with me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought of the bird I visualized in Debby's office, the way it flapped around its cage frantically, so afraid and hurt, I saw myself open the door and nurture it, telling it that I would never hurt it the way I did again. We must be so gentle with our hearts, souls, minds and psyche's.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are some uplifting images from New York.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life has many contrasts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm trying to figure out less in my life, not get so worried about decisions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In New York Debby said to me " You'd be surprised at how much of life you don't actually have to figure out."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For some reason hearing that from someone else was such a relieving- "oh yes moment."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">(If you're interested in meeting with Debby who is a great teacher you can find her at </span><a href="mailto:debby@debbyjay.com" style="background-color: white; color: #556b00; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">debby@debbyjay.com</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"> and </span><a href="http://debbyjay.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #556b00; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">debbyjay.com</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"> )</span></span></div>
in transit.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11914910581888354320noreply@blogger.com0