the day yassin died

today our driver died.

i wrote the story out to my friend in new york, told him i wish i could record all that i'm seeing with my eyes and then translate it to him, but that i suppose that's what these words are for.

i keep thinking about that Ghandi quote that ram dass uses in the beginning of one of his recordings;
"one lives as one dies".

i even put it in here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad9tydsizlM

a short i had made before i left.
weirdly foreshadowing.

Yassin picked me up from my train, he would smile and point out the window at things that he thought I should see.
His smile was always on his face and was one of my favorites to encounter here. Some people when they smile their whole face scrunches into it, especially the corners of their eyes.
His was like that.

We went to the center of town
His body was laying in the center of a herd of people. Children on building rooftops looking over to see.
Someone is singing soft hindi music behind me. It sounds like mourning music.
I want to look but I'm afraid they'd stop if I do, so I wont.

I looked down at my little shoes in the mud, i felt so young as Nisha Mam was holding my hand and continually saying Courtney come with me.
They had to find the car, get me out of their as police were everywhere.

Finally we got got to it and piled in. I sat on her lap and I felt light even. I wondered how I turned so young and small.

I guess when you're foreign you acquire this new innocence and curiosity for everything.

The day is grey, more grey then I've ever seen here.
Before we got in the car I saw an orange monkey cross some wires over our heads as he passed from one house above a shop to the next. The shops and houses are all brightly colored and look like decaying castle's. I could reference Aladdin so you get the idea but it's much more vivid and magical then that.

i shared some animations with the other art teacher here.
he said "so you are more of an artist then?"
i laughed and said "well yes i am an artist", he said "well usually animator is commercial and 3d and your work seems to be more"..."personal?" i asked.
he said "yes, its brave, i would be scared".
i said yeah, i guess, but i dont really know how to be any other way.
it just comes out.
because i love what i do.
and i love my life, so my work tends to be about that.

these days continue to surprise me.
none the same.
i have no idea whats coming next.
i think a nap now.