Thursday, September 19, 2013

Hello full moon and Mexico City Rain

I'm in Mexico City. 

It's pouring rain with lightning.
Most of the day the rain stayed away and the sun was out.
This has been my first day really on my own, the past 2-3 wks have been spent with others daily.

I'm exhausted today but have not done much, yesterday was one of the best most sound sleeps of my life. And yet i feel slowed down and sleepy. Like my eyes are soon to close and I keep holding them open.

I spoke to an old love today.
It was strange to talk again but also so nice.
There was no fear, just lightness. No expectation just general interest in how this other person was doing.
Some people leave such beautiful intense marks on your soul.
What is it that we fall in love with with other people?
Those little things that make each person unique.

I think I fall more and more in love with laughter daily, and the more I can spend time with people who make me laugh, the better off I am.

I'm staying at my friend Jesus's , I actually only know him through my friend Taryn and another friend named Lee lee in Chicago. Taryn met Jesus at a party at my house in Chicago where she was dressed as a cactus. I do love my friends.

I am always so grateful when a seemingly stranger opens their home and shares their life with me.
 here is Taryn as a cactus and as my wingman at my BFA show a few yrs back when i was a cloud. :)

we live in what ever reality we chose.

I like the reality of artists, they use everything as material, a realm of infinite possibilities.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .  .   ...   ..

this one time i fell off the face of the earth
no one knew exactly where i went but it was more less into the cave of my own heart
i saw many things there
things that were soft, things that we're hard
but the more i studied each part the more i saw it was all the same
the heart was like a giant sponge, and its capacity to love was/is limitless
the deeper i went , the more i found
white limitless space
space like canvas
space to paint with
to fill new pictures in
to fill new people
even with all the other marks and all the other people who had entered
it whispered to me- you will Never stop loving
and you will never be alone.
as the sun rises each morning, you too will rise and fall a million times over
you will learn much about stillness
much about movement
all about wings
and more about roots.
you will find yourself reborn again, like a butterfly, out of its cocoon.
you're flight will be short and at the same time it will never end.
this is how it works.
in the continual realm of no time and no space.
all is one and all is nothing.
so use what you have, love what you have
let go of drama's 
everyday you can re hape what it is you see, what you want,
and at the same time you can do nothing.
life will hold you.
you can Relax, you can believe , 
and then you can see, the stars have always been shinning for you.
the wind whispering what you already know.
the rain really kissing your skin when you thought you were caught in a storm.
the sun breaking open your own limitations that you realize are only illusions you don't need.
you are limitless. your love is limitless, your potential is limitless.
you will create things that you never thought possible, you will continue to amaze yourself.
Enjoy it.
 all the flowers, all the earth, all the world is here for you.
Hug the next tree you see and listen closely, it will share something with you that you needed to hear.

mmm sleep time early for me

Saturday, September 14, 2013

waves and wisdom

Waves and Wisdom.
I'm in a Cafe, I've been wanting to write for the past two weeks but this is the first time I've really taken time for myself like this. 
I have been at this yoga orphanage which has had so much magic, and so much challenge.
I can't tell you how beautiful its been to work with some of the kids, their hands in my hair, the way they grab my hand, tell me they think I'm beautiful and the way they giggle their sweet giggles and call people from all over different parts of their worlds their Mami's.

Detachment is a new lesson for me, letting go of expectations and coming back to the now. Trusting, slowing down, I wonder if we ever stop learning the same lessons.
I've been searching for my home for a long time and I think eventually it's just going to find me, so I let go of control, of trying to figure it out. Whenever I give things up to spirit miracles happen, or like this wave- this calm wave ensues.

I've been spending lots of time with my friend's baby, its so so wild. This tiny child who is continually looking for something to eat. She is so beautiful though, her smile and eyes are from another world. 
And her name- Azuri -means higher dimensional being.

The Cafe I am in is closing, so I'll just write a few things.
The other morning I fell apart in yoga, this song came on that broke my heart and opened it up to everything I had been feeling. All of the fear and sadness, and it just felt so good to cry. I asked for a miracle that day and then received it, blessings of people at a farmer's market and a Temazcal ceremony that totally calmed me down, made my heart and voice sing, and helped me feel so connected.
I remembered NOW- be here NOW. stop worrying about where u will be in the future when you return.
Things can change so so quickly.

The Sun, i love the sun. I love this image, I love its warmth and light.
I love this quote  I found from a friend:
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” Hafiz

A challenging day that turned bright again. LOVE.
i keep learning on this trip here that I cannot control anyone eles's feelings or take them personally, I can only control my own, have compassion and open myself up to understanding.

And lastly a wish for a Panda.
"Because Panda is cute and friendly."

keep riding that wave!

:) moving into tranquility and faiiitthhhh, and happiness.