Monday, November 19, 2012

sunday magic

Tonight I stumbled across an old story I wrote in India, I had one of those days, filled of light, dancing and happiness, it ended with a burst of confusion and communication breakdowns.
Then this story came to me to help shift me out of the funk.

It's interesting the way you can connect with others on this level, mind, body, soul, but somehow the ego, the words not being said, the assumptions made, can cause these disconnects.
They always shake me a bit, I mean, it feels great to be in tune, so when i'm not - of course frustration comes in.
 but every moment, every challenge is that opportunity to grow, so its the acceptance of the confusion, of the imperfection, of the inability to completely understand all of it, all at once, is definitely a lesson I'm learning.
To shake it out - and breeatthhhe.

Here's the story I found that lightened my perspective;

You fell asleep at the bottom of the ocean.

The fish sang to you and long strips of seaweed whistled tunes and played themselves the way someone might play a violin.

When you woke you found a clam, you crawled inside and found yourself in a vast valley.

The valley was sunlight and you wondered how you could find light in such unexpected places.

You walked down and found a door, it was old and wooden and covered with this beautiful green moss. When you put your fingers into it it was like touching foamy silk.
You leaned up against the door and just sat there hugging it.

When you opened your eyes you were on top of a mountain, the ground beneath you the same consistency as that silk, but felt like a giant nest. 

Down near your legs a wolf had nestled its head into your lap.

You sat there, stroking its head and said;

"this is life, things can change in the blink of an eye."

He looked at you and in his eyes you saw the eyes of every person you have ever loved, every person you have ever been with and let the inevitability of time split you apart, only to rejoin in new forms...

I found this in a letter in an old journal.
For someone named Ishaque;
Thanking them for their support, for their believing in dreams and wishes.
They had donated $ to my project I began in India.
I had never met them, nor had any idea who they are.
Just a soul, inspired to help a stranger.
I was astounded.

I've been thinking a lot about a quote my friend Will said to me recently;
"belief clings, faith lets go."

when you have faith, you don't need to cling to anything.
something to ponder.

Ben and I went to the Hare Krishna temple tonight.
I had dreamt about it recently so I thought it was time

I love watching people sing and dance, and enjoy themselves and others in this way.
Music carries a frequency, and when others tap into that frequency together, a sort of inspiration comes.
It's like a presence, a rythmn, a vibration that everyone is on together.

Another thing I found that a friend had written to me that I wanted to share..
Here goes:

" So I read this nice passage in this book Andy got me called Generation Hex.
All about what magic means in this time.

' Magic is living tapestry, a living history, and it falls to each generation to renew it. 
Ultimately magic is a kind of life that you live. Magicians are artists who use their lives, their culture, and the fabric of reality itself as their implements. That's where it ends up. It starts slow but the learning curve's as steep as it gets.
It means defining your life exactly how you want, turning it into gold. Learning about hidden things. Making things happen that shouldn't happen.
Setting up residence in the impossible.
Talking directly to the universe and finding out that it talks back, that it loves you.
That it will make your dreams real because it put them there for you to find in the first place, that if your  heart is pure it will show you incredible things.
Finding out that there have been people as nutty and blissed as you for as long as the human species has existed and looking to these ancestors for a bit of guidance and validation. Getting your motivation to the best and only party that has ever existed. The unveiling of another scene, our passport into the halmenon, the pure mentation of the All.
A chittering clacking dance of lust underneath a black sun with witches at night. Breathing lightening....
Speaking upside down language to God, It's a vibration in your heart. In your longing. And all alone in the chamber of sex and stars you realize where the story's going.
It's a life worth living all right' "
Jason Lau

I keep pieces of people and places and things on my wall that inspire me and this is one of them!

Thank you Taryn, Goddess sista- here's her site where she has amazing things she makes with her magician hands;

and an old painting she made me.

good night.
shine bright.

maybe more dreams of the sea for me?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Exercise for the Soul and Spirit November

Last nigth I took a martial arts class, my sister had begun taking a karate class with a Sensei in Santa Barbara and she told me, "once you eliminate fear in your body, you eliminate it in all aspects of your life>."

I'm really not about fighting, but defense is a whole different form of arts. I learned how to do a sommer-sault in case I fall off a bike or lose my footing, how to get myself out of a tight grip and basically how to do a dance with a wooden sword. I giggled through most of the exercises and all my partners would always sort of laugh in wonderment or curiosity. I couldn't help but laugh, each new experience made me giggle, learning new things that fathom me arise this emotion in me.
It's like a little kid seeing something for the first time, that curious smile and giggle at each new encounter with it.

Then I saw a movie that was incredibly disturbing, and I asked Ben, is it normal for people to feel sad for reasons they can't understand?
He said, "of course- and of course you're going to feel sad, we we're just emotionally raped by this movie! don't confuse your feelings and emotions for who you are."
I put this stone pyramid on my third eye, it was so cooling and sucked so much of the draining energy out of me, soon I fell into a deep sleep, knowing in a blink it'd be morning.

Its grey here, but patches of white grey lay everywhere. An old friend just called, and that comfort of a voice I've known for so long soothed me, but also left me with this feeling of - i want more!

I've been flipping through an old note book, full of notes, insights, quotes and wishes.
An old teacher told me, "nothing is finite, it seems like things have a weight, but everything is changing. Have faith in every step you make, don't be too responsible, make irresponsible choices too, follow your nose." She had then told me the story of taking out a $20,000 dollar loan in her twenties to make a film, soon after she was rewarded a grant to cover and make up for what she had done, she had no idea she was going to get that grant, but she trusted and took the risk to go after what she wanted.
 Whatever that path may be, if intuition is telling you to do something, sometimes logic has to be disregarded.

Yesterday I had a chart reading, astrology is so interesting. Being born under the stars, your situations in life, your challenges, choices and so forth.
Life is a constant flux, and its all about the flow of it. My friend Cofield, who read for me, told me "dont put yourself in a box, let yourself have your experiences."
Once we start boxing ourselves to what we are or should be, false barriers come up, that seem to prevent growth. The only way to really learn anything, is to experience it.-SO theory i get it- experience- im trying! I am human after all. :)

Last week I took a two hour soul dance class- called "Spirit Rythmns".
Basically a group of a ton of people turning around in circles and circles, singing, dancing and moving their bodies in the way spirit inspires them to.

This man showed up an hour into class named Carlos.
He was in an electronic wheelchair, with hardly an arm movement and absolutely no leg movement.
He smiled and smiled and spun in circles with everyone.
Ben told him at the end he had such grace, and he did, I was just astounded at his courage and general state of happiness.
BTW Dance class is amazing- (find it, do it, go for it).

A beautiful friend of mine completely moved me this week after I hadn't talked to her in mths. I had tried to reach her but she told me she had been healing, or accepting what had happened to her and hadn't been able to talk to anyone yet.
She had fallen three stories down from an apartment building and ended up in the hospital. She told me the story of all the pain, of the surgeries, of how they had to move her organs around and about the infections they caused.
Then she laughed, made jokes, told me about how during the past hospital stay a boy came in and she taught him how to draw for hours. How inspired she was, how this situation has already changed her outlook in so many things. She told me about the nature haven at her mom's in Wisconsin where she's healing, her desire to possibly go back to school, her courage with her state, her acceptance of being in this wheelchair. Her message in life, how she just wants to remind people, that "hey if your cell phone breaks- its going to be ok."
I felt so inspired after talking to her, a serious perspective shift.

"a day for laughing...excercise for the soul, for the spirit. " drawing and interview- Alex Parkin.

enjoy :)

many of these are stills from my new animation work!
coming sooooooooon.
i love you.