Sunday, February 17, 2013

Falling Up

i fell asleep last night with a friend reading "Falling Up" by Silverstein.

I told her I was going to fall asleep and she rubbed my leg and said "that's ok, how about I read to you."
She had showed up an hour earlier with a pint of vegan ice cream and a hug.
I've been receiving a lot of angels lately and it reminds me how surrounded I am, sometimes the heart can go into this place of feeling very alone, and in the midst of going through a deep heart separation from another, i feel very supported.

I went to Yucaipa, a little place outside of Palm Springs a few days ago to help a friend who is starting a school there and I laid down on the earth and felt this serious hand under me. This hand of the earth. This girl in my dream that night picked cards for me and flipped cards that said Mother and The earth. Themes for me to connect to.

I don't remember any dreams last night but it felt very relieving, to sleep a dreamless night and to wake feeling peaceful. The past few months the subconscious had been screaming so many messages I didn't want to truly look at. I think of "we have to allow people the dignity of their own struggle'.
Of the way I've been putting puzzle pieces together for myself, my own riddles to solve for my own personal growth.

I skyped a friend who is in Bali, she gave me a new chant, which goes something like this:

"Asa toma sadgamaya tamasoma jyotirgamaya mrityorma amritamgamaya"

" Lead us from Untruth to Truth, from Dark to Light, from Death to Immortality" 


I returned from my trip to Yucaipa to find a package from my sweet friend in new york, her letter saying

"Tomorrow is the Chinese New Year-
Year of the Water Snake
A new beginning-
    some things will grow deeper
and others will

                  away  .

-transform your tools, use your gifts
for the good of all


of effortless


guiding you  


Yes, sounds good to me.
The snake coming to me in another dream that night
A ceremony, I was with mayans, and the line, "we must turn snakes into serpents" kept coming to me. I woke and thought I must write this down! Profound information coming through. Then I had to really sit with myself later and go,"oook...but what does that mean."
The message was all about transmission and transformation. A dot, a single point containing all of existence. Moving from one simple way of being to one of ancient wisdom and message. Apparently the snake is fire medicine, it is of initiation and healing, signaling new opportunities and changes.
"Snake magic is heavy magic. 
Become the Magician and transmute the energy and accept the power of the fire."


It's a new Sunday
morning focus;
angel of earth.

"there is a part of me
that is rooted firmly in the earth
it is grounded, solid me
That I now deeply bow.
For without this,
There could be no expansion,
No life-giving nourishment
Coursing to my tender new leaves,
No strong stem to reach
Toward the sun.
The earth is my home
For this incarnation,
And I am blessed."
essene book of meditations and blessings


"all that you want is yours"

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


"when the student is ready the teacher appears."

I never really understood the weight of that until now.
I had heard it once or twice before but I feel I finally understand what it means to be ready, to be ready to open one's self up to the teachings of someone who has mastered something greater then yourself.
I've been finding a greater ability to say the truth lately and say what I need and what I can and cannot do.
It's a huge step for me and without Debby's sessions I'm not sure I'd be in the same place.
This past session I held a large thing of blankets, I leaned down on them for a very long time. She asked me what it felt like, I told her like i was hugging a mountain.
I made a drawing of it and wrote, "I just want to lean on all the things I've been carrying around."

Lately i find myself carrying less and my arms are beginning to feel lighter. I hope it keeps up.
My cricket record finished in my room and now there is a soft silence.

There's been a lot of transition in the past few weeks, and all for the better.
The new crescent moon is always like this little whisper to me  saying "new beginning, new opportunities to make magic, new moments to grow- get ready- enjoy it!"

I applied to an orphanage in Guatemala and it's still a bit of a mystery quest but I'm also hoping there may be a green light that says GO.
I am loving the California sun and all the new things here that are building though so who knows.
:) On be continued.

I just finished some painting, was told to paint and channel Mother Mary, so that is what I am working on.
And tomorrow I am headed to my friend Art Tarbi's land where he will be starting up an esoteric school.

Happy day of Love everyone, enjoy it and love the heck out of everything you see, do and feel.

(If you're interested in meeting with Debby who is an amazing teacher you can find her at and .)