Wednesday, October 9, 2013

It's time for me to re-new my website.
It's time for me to find a home.
It's time for me to animate some stars.

The order of these three things happening will probably not be how I wrote them.

Animating stars will happen in the next hour, updating website will be in a week, and finding a home will probably be in the next month.

Now everything is perception so I could easily change all of these but I think that time line is what sounds and feels most right to me.

I'm at my sister's in Santa Barbara.
It's a cute town here, beautiful and it's nice to see my sister.
Last night I saw my little sister and she's head over heels in love and it's incredibly beautiful and entertaining to watch.
It's nice to see people you love glow.

I sat next to a woman from Chicago at my sister's restuarant.
We talked about Cocteau Twins, Sam Cooke, Sigur Ros and other music that had touched us in some way.
She was significantly older then me, but maybe only by 8 years.

Some how we began opening ourselves more and more. We talked about psychic perceptions, about the way we know something feels right or wrong and how you can choose to ignore red flags or really see them, we talked about the dream world.
I've always had a vivid dream world, ever since I can remember. And often times I have been able to communicate with people I love in dreams or receive messages from them or other worlds it feels. 
The most vivid and recent message I got was the day I left New York and I had given birth in a dream, my Mom told me in the dream, "this child is going to heal yourself and your family and many people in the world."
I never saw the baby, I just remember the feeling, as if I had created something very powerful and new. It may have been a birth to myself or who knows, a foreshadow of whats to come.

I dreamt of moonstone two nights ago, of black feather earrings that had crystals like stars in them.
I sang with a drum in my dream and put water on the drum to open it up.

(a healing Mandala my friend Tom made me)

At the end of my night this woman I was sitting with had to take a phone call from her mom. You could tell it was a hard phone call and then she began to tell me a story that was going on, you could see how heavy it weighed on her heart.
I told her how important it is to love your family and hold space but how you can't carry their pain. The best you can do for them is visualize them happy and have faith that they will get through it. Because everything passes, everything changes and I believe everything has the power to heal.
Patience and laughter.
Two of my saving graces.


I've loved being back because it's been so nice to see and catch up with people I love.
It seems like so many people have evolved so incredibly in only 4-5 months.
But I guess a lot can happen in that time, we're all like caterpillars, continually evolving and taking shape.

Well on my list of things to do I wrote ; "write a story."
The story I'm writing is my own though.
Today I woke up, to my sister, she had to leave early , I moved my car, the sky was grey, I had showerd warm water all over my skin and I read from this book of magic of the Qabala, while i sipped warm milk brown tea, i found a passage that read:
"There is much to learn and an eternity to learn it, but before we can learn the new, we must unlearn the old...You may notice that it appears quite simple, but this is the first that must be learned. It is in the simple that the great can be found. 
Build your universe from a simple and strong foundation.
You are surprised that I say "build." But that is what you will be doing. For as you discover the universe, you will recreate your own. ..

We are only limited by ourselves.

We are never given a dream or a wish without also being given the means and the power to make it manifest."

ted andrews

"things are hidden only to be revealed at a latter time."
)mark 4:22(

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