Monday, August 5, 2013

New Beginnings

there are these moments, where i just want to bottle life up.
the beauty and love of it.
the magic, the unpredictability.
I fell asleep on the lake a few nights ago with my italian family.
I looked around and asked Otto, "should we move off the dock so we don't get cold?"

He nodded, i put my head down and he began stroking my hair, I will never forget how good that felt or the beauty of the simple gestures. It was so soothing. 

I began traveling with this amazing italian brother and sister.
I knew these two for only a week but it definitely felt like life times.
Strange how that can happen. I had never fallen so in love with siblings like this before.
Everything about how they were together and how they were independently.
Otto shared the same birthday as me and every time I looked at him I felt something that would make me smile.
Lea was this fire-y beauty who would make friends anywhere we'd go. Fearless and trusting of the world.
There was this theme of acceptance and humor in everything.

We hitch-hiked across Mexico. Snuck in and enjoyed the ruins, we're basically adopted by a family traveling from Vera Cruz and would eat all sorts of delicious food together.

I miss them already, but also felt it was time for me to go to Puerto Morelos, I will see them before they go, I have to.

I need those hugs and that warmth one more time on this trip.

So It's been about a week and a half since I left the little home I lived in in San Cristobal Mexico.

So much has happened.
I've been traveling with this sweet Brit whose always on the guitar, nice to have continual back ground music to life.
My skin is warm today from the sun's kiss yesterday. A soft pink/red all over.
I swam in the ocean to cleanse away all the fears or doubts that the mind had felt from leaving people I got so close too- separation can be hard!
But i read today in the dao, "you can't lose what you do not grasp."
While traveling expectations can rise and fall, nostalgia can come up, fear, all sorts of things, its really this dance of continually plunging into the unknown and surrendering. And then more magic and blessings ensue.

After San Cristobal and before hitch-hiking we headed to this "Shaman community" about an hour away.
We arrived to this little nature haven next to a stream and I immediately fell in love with it.
Sylvain, the women who runs it showed me a dorm where the "two italians" we're staying.
Little did I know how strong of a connection it would be, but my intuition told me to stay there.

Everyone there was from all over Mexico and other places a bit.
Everyone would eat together and help out with things around the land.

The first night we watched a movie about the Mayans.
The next day we hiked through the hills and then swam in the stream.
Every person there carried something with them that was unique and open and beautiful.
I immediately bonded with Lea and her brother Otto.
I loved the way they we're with each other, funny, understanding and loving.

My second night there I got to do a Temazcal (sweat lodge) with a family and Marzos, Sylvain's partner. It was so powerful.
I had been wanting to do one so badly and the it just appeared.
Marzos told me the ceremony was full but for some reason I didn't believe it, I just saw myself there. 
I went and meditated next to the alter, in the sun, my desire to be in it was strong but with time I let go of it, I realized that no matter what, whether I could join or not, it would be perfect.
It was only then, when my desire was gone, did Marzos come up and tell me I was going to be a part of the ceremony.

Me and the family that was going in smiled and laughed, they knew how badly I wanted to sing.
We saged, did a prayer around the alter and entered.
The heat was so nice, I love the way you can just feel it engulf you, like actual flames burning what you don't need.
After Marzos used his shell flute and sang he asked me if I had a song.
A sang a ceremony song in english loud and echoing, it felt so good.

There were 4 different times to open the doors to let cool air in.
Each time was different and at one point we all began massaging each other's toe's.
The ceremony ended with this prayer a young girl did for me over my heart, to create more space in my heart, releasing the old. Her and everyone's words echoed the room in Spanish, it was sooo incredible and we all howled at the end like wolves and laughed and smiled.
After we got out we jumped in the stream as the last light of the day was leaving.

Everything was sort of pastel colored.
So much gratitude.

This is what happens when I look at the stars, I look and see them smiling and think- "thank you- even in moments of doubt - thank you."
It's all aligned.

I arrived in Puerto Morelos two days ago, to this sweet man's house with Robin and to a friend who I had done ceremony with in December.
She is creating a healing center here in the most magical place I have ever seen, wood and art and white and nature. I don't know how she found it but it's a gift to manifest her dreams.
I interviewed her for the Wish Book and drew her. It was inspiring to see someone so actively pursuing and doing what they believed in.
Following the heart.

Either today or tomorrow I get to see one of the most magical friends in my life from NY. My little chocolate maker, yogi Austin from NY.
It will be so nice to see someone from the states who I love so much.

I spoke to a friend Camilla today and we picked words for each other, I gave her "sillyness" and she gave me faith and said;
"see what you want/are headed towards like a clear blue light/tunnel
and follow it!
you will get there"

It was so nice to hear.

Then she gave me this happy song:

mmmmmm, happpyyyyy day.
More magic to ensue, enjoy and love.
New moon in Leo tomorrow! Time to shine. :)


  1. The beauty you share is ever inspiring,
    like the first ray of light that calls us out of bed in the morning.
    I am reminded of a bigger, more heart filled world following your adventures with you.
    Thanks for being the smile that leads joyful moments across the planet.

    1. I love you Madison- thank you for this response, i heard it Right when i needed to. i love you <3